Alan Maki Can Choke on a Dick.

Dearest Alan,

You have not experienced a personal attack yet Alan, but by the end of this you should have a fine example of one. You fucked with the wrong hombre friend. When you take me off the leash of E-Democracy protecting you from my rather uncivil dark side then you have played the wrong move from the Pandora playbook. When I say that I don’t like you, what I mean to say is that I fucking hate your guts. You and every bleeding heart anti-everyone activist who decides that instead of helping to repair a derelict system it’s better to stand on a digital soap box and sling mud. Why don’t you cry about it Alan? Why don’t you just move to Red Lake and cry about it? You can see how many casino workers help you and how many are really simply insulted that you exist.

You tell me that I’ve done nothing to fight injustice, but I’ve actually campaigned for Mayor of Bemidji twice Alan. I know that living in Warroad your only source of information must be telegraph and the interwebs, but I and a crack clutch of political insurrectionists have been quietly staging coups for years now, and what we have succeeded in doing is nothing short of amazing. What you have accomplished is making enemies of the people who can help you. Because you are a fucking child Alan. Your limited grasp of the English language and cut-rate political agenda have left you the King of the Bog, and no one gives a shit about you. I learned recently that you were booted from another forum some time ago for being a dick, and I can see why.

You are a fascist fanatic Alan. You are the biggest dick I’ve ever continued to interact with, not because I want to, but because someone like you should not be given free reign to spew hate and avarice without someone like me checking your unbalance, and you are one unbalanced individual. See, I believe that you get more things done building bridges than laying waste to every one you come across. I believe that only through intelligence and reason can we combat problems. I believe that you can’t fight another persons battle for them. You claim that you’re an anti-war activist, but the same arguments you’re making for the treatment of reservation casinos is the rational used to invade Iraq.

“They obviously can’t help themselves, so thank God they have me in their corner! Champion to Native Rights and Hero to the Unwashed Masses of Casino Workers languishing in their smoke filled captivity! Behold, I am Alan Maki! Follow me you ignorant fools! Follow me to the workers revolution!”

Because you’re not a fucking champion Alan. I would rather have a corpse in my corner. I have known a hero or two in my day, and they are not you. You are a childish ass hat with a web connection and a cause. I’ve never helped with anything? I traveled to Thailand to help orphans with AIDS you ignorant tyrant. I am too busy taking care of my terminally ill granny to find you, and you can thank God for that. I will warn you this once; stop tearing down my friends or I will end you. I will burn down every phone line north of Gonvic. I will call in favors from people who know that I am a good man. I will make it my personal mission to ensure that you and your little web clutch are removed from every server and that your very existence is eradicated from any records you believe you can maintain.

You are not even worth my hate. I disregard you sir. You are a non being to me and I can assure you that I am not alone. There is a silent majority that reads the Bemidji Forum and I can tell you that you are widely regarded as a lunatic, a crank, and a fool by everyone I've talked to. Bemidji is my home and if you were to come to my house you would find yourself alone and hated. Everyone I talk to about our tete-a-tete sees that you are a dick and I am simply trying to lubricate you before you fuck our ears with your endless tirades. I am surrounded by three reservations, by the way, and you live in fucking Warroad. Bemidji is my domain and I will protect it by any means necessary from your constant barrage of uneducated ninny-boy whining. Hope you choke.

Fuck Your Ass With a Snake,

Jeremiah Tavis Stenerson Liend

PS You can log this as a personal attack now.


Kathryn Lavelle said…
REALLY? Childish Ass Hat? I laughed so hard I fell off my office chair and my executive director came running in to make sure I wasn't having an epileptic episode!

I must admit that I got a tiny bit (or maybe a teensy bit more)of satisfaction as you put Mr. Maki's negativity in check...although I do still hold true to the belief that we will accomplish nothing until we all start working together to become the solutions we seek rather than the problems we whine about.

I am pleased that Mr. Maki has the right to free speech because it is one facet of our government that seems to work better than most. I am...however...not a fan of personal attacks, or character assasignations for that matter, especially on certain people (like Brita, John and Rod...) for no other reason than they are active in our community trying to accomplish something. Let me repeat that for the hard of reading...THEY ARE ACTIVE IN OUR COMMUNITY TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING!

I'm done talking and blogging...time to get out and DO something POSITIVE for my community. Mr. Maki, are you and others up for the challenge?

Kathryn Lavelle
Duke said…
Sweet lord on a stick that is one hateful tirade. Can’t say I’ve ever seen/read you so savagely angry.
QP Quaddle said…
Lolz. This guy actually tried to add me to his professional network on LinkedIn. I just don't know what to do with that.