Q REPORT: ARREST THOSE RICH PEOPLE!
This document originates from a time report recovered from an eventuality where satire was briefly enforceable law, before being repealed due to excessive and ongoing danger. In that timeline, Q did not wake up one morning and choose violence, but rather chose paperwork, which is far more terrifying to the modern oligarchic mammal. The arrests described herein are ceremonial, allegorical, conducted with blade hands(not jazz), and are grounded in the emotional truth that fraud, waste, and abuse suck dirty butts. That said, we intentionally avoid the lurid, the salacious, and the already-weaponized horrors of the age, because the real crime of the 21st century was not secret evil but open extraction with a TED Talk voice. This is comedy, yes, but also a filing cabinet violently tipped over in the middle of history, spilling out dirty receipts like distressed streamers. The targets of this whimsy are referred to only as Elon, Jeff, and Bill, not to obscure identity, but to elevate them in...
