Q Report; Make Me Your Space Admiral for Life, Commander in Chief Donald Trump.


Dearest Commander in Chief Donald Trump,

I am writing this message from the future, requesting a commission as Space Admiral for Life in your Space Force effective immediately upon receipt. It has long been my goal to build an interstellar space time craft and set solar sail for stars uncharted. It would be the greatest honor of my life to see past differences set aside and work together on this project. This grand endeavor will ennoble us. In this letter (which I promise will not be too long) I will show my relevant skills, explain my relative experience, and describe a framework by which we can conquer the stars. But, before we can get there, let me tell you about myself.

My name is Quentin Percival Quaddle D.D.S.. I am a swashbuckling adventurer sent from the future to save the past from an unwilling present. Presents. I have saved at least three planets, including Earth. I may be the greatest swordsperson ever. Lots of people would love to be me, but they can’t. They must live their vain, inferior lives. Not me, pal. I’m a cosmopolitan transhumanist postmodernist and frankly I do not have time for you to put together a hiring committee. The fact is, Earth is on the clock. Even if we do everything right, and carbon doesn’t acidify the ocean and kill us all with hypoxia, our planetary leak will eventually vent our hydrogen into space. We need that hydrogen, for things like water. Kicks on a Friday night. Dirigibles. Mostly the water, though. Not to mention the many interstellar objects moving at impossible speeds through space. Towards us. Even now. You’ve seen the film Armageddon, maybe even Deep Impact? We must get into space and hope we find some advanced aliens, willing to sell us more planets, or a functional timecraft, or a taco hole. In return for DVDs of those films. We need big dangerous ships that can turn apocalyptic space debris into ash, and for that? We need a Space Force, and you need me, to command it.

Why would I make the best Space Admiral for Life you ask? Well first off, great question. Thanks for asking. The fact is that I have designed and built a myriad of off-world craft in a variety of formats. I have also witnessed them in the future. That Elon Musk kid thinks he’s going to settle Mars, but what he’s really doing is selling expensive space funerals. He is getting bored selling not enough electric cars to have any impact on our carbon production. I also heard he wants to bring apartheid back. You know how to get rid of that carbon? Solar Airships. But that is not space, buddy. Outside of the mandate of this request. Let’s focus on space, shall we? Theater is the answer. On thousand years long voyages you need carbon neutral group activities. A space commander should be a lot of things, a tyrant, an artist, a healer, but foremost they must be an inspiration. They must be able to convince groups of people that doing the most dangerous things ever attempted will be worth it. That should they perish in the cold darkness of the void, between the infinite stars, lungs blown out of their chest from decompression, that their sacrifice would not be without purpose. We carry the story of humanity into that infinite darkness, even now! Believe me, you want someone who can tell that story, to the aliens and what not. Theater can make that happen. Space theater. Space. Space Force! I have us covered. 

My relevant experience includes undergraduate and graduate degrees in interdisciplinary studies, several honorary doctorates from bankrupt institutions, and other forged credentials available on request. I am not really a doctor of dentistry science (FU “board” of medicine). Rather I am a person who removes gold teeth for free, regular teeth on a case by case basis. I have impersonated a space explorer, Henry Higgins, the Emperor of Japan, and Jesus Christ. I have not been crucified but would be willing. If Lin Manuel Miranda would hang himself as Judas just to... you know… hang there. Not die, just worry people, I would get crucified on live television. I don’t know if Legend did that? I don’t like broadcast live performance.

In terms of my kill count, it numbers well into the millions. Millions and millions. Shot, stabbed, lasered, missiled, and shotgunned in the face holes. I take no joy in killing. I wish I wasn’t so great at it. I really hoped to leave a less violent planet to my children, but apparently that involves reducing the human herd through ultra-violence. It is a means to an end. Once we grasp traveling through space and time, then everyone can have a planet. There will be a screening process. We will find places without life, but containing water, breathable air, and a predictable climate. If we happen to run into life? Well, we’ll cross that weird bridge when we come to it. I imagine we’ll just show them our phones and guns, and they will worship us? One worry I want to make you aware of early on is that certain things we have done, and when I say we I mean the United States of America, they may be construed as horrifying. At least to intelligent life. What with the genocides and perpetual warring and global exploitationing and so on. But again, I’m certain that as long as we can take Wi-Fi with us, my phone will seal the deal on them surrendering to our unknown mercies.

My guaranteed plan of getting off world is a three-phase plan. First, we find an asteroid large enough, and containing elements that can be used in construction, and transform it by robot into a spacecraft. Second, we launch and board a human crew of colonist/pirates. Third, we activate a nuclear ionic engine and Jupiter slingshot out of our system at the fastest speed possible. Right now, the Juno space probe holds the record for fastest man made thing at 165,000 miles per hour (265,000 km/h for our commie friends) achieved through plunging into Jupiter. We would try to avoid that, and go faster than that. How fast? Well. Very. But, even at 165,000 miles per hour we could still make the TRAPPIST system in 40,000 years, or so. Providing everything went as planned. Light travels at 669,600,000 miles an hour, and would take 39.46 years to travel from Earth to TRAPPIST-1. So, every mile per hour we travel closer to that 669 million reduces travel time, significantly.

In closing I would just like to make it clear that there is only one Space Admiral for this, and it is me, Dr. Quaddle. Relax. I’m a doctor. Not for reals, of course. But on paper. You can put a lot of stuff on paper, these days. I will expect your commission soon. Just to be clear, I would take no rank lower than Rear Admiral. My time is too precious to waste in meetings. Even if your vision is not in keeping with my own, I can assure you that I am your best bet against space asteroids. I’ve watched Deep Impact dozens of times. Armageddon still makes me cry. Let me be your Bruce Willis, but sexy, and not dead. Thank you in advance for your consideration.


Q.P. Quaddle       


Anonymous said…
When the ancient Polynesians invented surfing, they often used a paddle to help them navigate.
Fast forward a few millennia, and Stand Up Paddleboarding,
or SUP, finds itself trendy again.
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Anonymous said…
Oftentimes, problems with our sexuality or problems reaching orgasm are rooted in an imbalance of yin and yang.
If during our lovemaking we have too much yin and too little yang, we lack arousal.

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Anonymous said…
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question our sexual orientation in ways that scare us.

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Anonymous said…
I disagree with much of your beliefs on this subject.
When my son was young he had to go to a babysitter while I worked.
I made sure he was in a happy and healthy environment.

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Anonymous said…
When you come to a fallen big tree and it has a
little hand painted sign that says 'falls' and an arrow to the left, just go
over the tree. Try and stay under the ropes course.
It didn't matter bc we were the only ones there.

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Anonymous said…
Liking anal play isn't being homosexual 딜도 (or even bi sexual) although I do find it
interesting that you "wouldn't mind" if your boyfriend was bi.

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Anonymous said…
That dildo scandalised the febrile media during the court case.

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Anonymous said…
Because most pools and hot tubs are outside, you're going to be running the same risks and experiencing the same
thrills that you were discussed in the section on backyard sex.

Your neighbors could see you.
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Anonymous said…
Small and slow. It's really important to start with something really small to get the anal
sphincter muscles accustomed to having something inserted, Riley says.

Recommend start on the opening to anus with the pad of your finger and bunch
of lube.
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Anonymous said…
Born and raised in Cape Cod, Spowart has lived, studied
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Anonymous said…
Which he later denied to FFT) and spent a total of just 54 minutes on the pitch before heading back to
Upton Park.
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Anonymous said…
So how good does a sex bumper actually work It hard to get a true, unbiased opinion because most sex experts haven seen anything like the Ohnut before.
Miranda Harvey, a pelvic floor physical therapist, is one of them.

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Anonymous said…
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Anonymous said…
There's also Mulholland Drive, which had some very brief hot queer moments relative to its era (2001).
Heavenly Creatures (1994) served the queer goth community particularly well.
Sadly, that community is relatively small..
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Anonymous said…
I disagree with much of your beliefs on this subject.
When my son was young he had to go to a babysitter while I worked.
I made sure he was in a happy and healthy environment.
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Anonymous said…
Its only been that when i finger her. Also, now that i remember.

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Anonymous said…
"We never communicate", another point in relationship troubles.

"I try to get home each day early enough so we can talk, maybe you could take your shower a little earlier. "GRRRR". Adds Dr.
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Anonymous said…
The space that housed the permanent collection has almost halved in area (or more!).

What's worse, they had very little in that small area
now definitely could have fit more.
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Anonymous said…
Having your vibrator accidentally start buzzing as you go through airport security will certainly draw unwanted attention. If you have a battery operated toy, simply remove the batteries.

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Anonymous said…
Cuntts fisting video gay. Cuntt fisting avi.

A giant piece of bbw fist fuck. You damn kids, you don know
anything about blood sweat and tears. And once you
carved that wooden penis, you needed to make sure to SAND THE SHIT OUT OF IT.

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Anonymous said…
And once the cops get called, it's war.If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.SHOW ME HOWDelta Psi the "Psi" gets sung
like a battle whoop are drunks under pressure.
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Anonymous said…
Think she was aroused watching poor Tom being caned
absolutely! I think she have found watching his punishment
tremendously exciting. And not just the spanking, but also her emerging realisation of the extent of her feminine
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Anonymous said…
Not like through until the middle of the night but
my bed time is usually around 10:30 or suppose to be but I usually
fall asleep between 12:30 to about 2 the most.

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Anonymous said…
Some students saw the idea of academic freedom as elitist.
One student accused Dye: "Clearly you have the ability to censor any art." Dye responded, "No, you are wildly exaggerating."
She then asked Copeland if she could censor any art.
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Anonymous said…
There are many reasons why sex toys are preferred by women. A woman can explore her
body better with help of a sex toy like dildo or vibrator which helps in understanding how one can achieve orgasm.

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Anonymous said…
Everything seems great for the pregnancy and most of DD2's first year.
MIL (mother in law) is a little BEC, but nowhere near as bad as the stories I read here.

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Anonymous said…
How is erect clitoris. Sexpics vaginal stretching. Pusssy vagina closeups.

I live in Sweden and have done so all my life. This is a quite sexually liberal place.

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Anonymous said…
Another is to put your hand in the 0 sign like you would jerk him off and put it to your mouth and blow and jerk him
off at the same time. Lots of lube or spit will be needed to make this best.

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Anonymous said…
My live in boyfriend of 4 years cheated on me with his ex
wife. He said it was only for a month and that he ended
it with her 3 weeks ago.
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Anonymous said…
This isn't one of those cavernous chain music stores;
you're always within conversation range of the people who have the answers and they're 진동기 always ready to dicker on the
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Anonymous said…
Arrange lube, toys and protection somewhere handy, but don hide them.
Make a display. ;) (Also got batteries Charge or stock up on fresh ones.)Incense Lavender or myrrh or sandalwood or real live flowers of preferred
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Anonymous said…
Secondly, you are not to blame for anything your husband has hidden from you.
You did not make him betray you. If there is something he likes sexually, that is something he
should be open and honest with you about.
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Anonymous said…
She spent the past year being pregnant and post partum,
and she has awful pregnancies where she nauseous every minute of every day, so we are only juuuuust
starting to try anything more than the most perfunctory maintenance sex again.
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Anonymous said…
If you want to experience the sensation of being filled up during sex,
ask your boyfriend to penetrate you with more fingers, or a fist.

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완드 마사지 기계
Anonymous said…
So my doctor made the decision to induce me this Tuesday the 14th.
And we'll I'm very nervous about it, but she suggested to have sex and
walk ALOT.
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Anonymous said…
As I helped you pick it up, I palmed the $20 and kept it
for myself, old school. Skating away, I could've sworn I heard you yell at me,
but I couldn't be sure and didn't dare look back.
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Anonymous said…
By the 1990s, talking openly about vibrator usage became
more commonplace, thanks to Sex and the City,
Oprah, and even the New York Times. These portrayals helped
to generate open discussions about and acknowledgement of women vibrator
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Anonymous said…
Ebonynude fill my cunt. Hugecock cunt movies.
Do you want freesex movie. It hurt even worse using the bathroom last night.

I send him texts like "I hate you my booty hurts"
every now and then.
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Anonymous said…
So yeah i a guy, and my classmate sent me this gay porn video then I got super horny so I was curious
about anal sex sO I got a candle, 7 inch
is the length, and the width is 1 inch. I not that smart but i guessing that accurate.

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Anonymous said…
I actually just felt beautiful. I felt like a woman." She was crushed when that issue arrived in WA newsagents with some of the pages glued together, courtesy of the state censors.
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Anonymous said…
She said, according to Byron Shire news.budget for this installation represents Council biggest investment in public art, a key deliverable in Council Public Art Strategy.
Hundreds are clearly not impressed as a backlash
mounts against the artwork.
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Anonymous said…
Under the auspices of Hernan and Brynne Cortez, SomArts has been transformed into less a winter wonderland than a surrealist toy shop located somewhere beyond the looking glass.

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Anonymous said…
Sometimes new freedom produced humor that reflected old prejudices.

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Anonymous said…
I'm always on top of my game, so I thought. I know that mood, and foreplay plays
a large role in a woman's ability to orgasm through intercourse and I always take the time to make this
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Anonymous said…
"Did you send me this magical golden bow" "Check again, Einstein,"
says Al Pacino. Theseus looks down at his bow and realizes it was just a hot dog all
along! With Al Pacino's phone number written on it!
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Anonymous said…
It so widely circulated, in fact, that Pluckrose, Lindsay and Boghossian were forced to end
their hoax project early when members of the press started noticing
that Wilson and her employer, the Ungendering Research Initiative
were not real.
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Anonymous said…
Bless your sweet, extremely anal inquiry into anal sex!

Your questions delight me and your commitment to preparedness is astounding.
My first bit of advice is to calm down a little.
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Anonymous said…
The expression "make an honest woman of" refers of course 진동기 only to women but, more pertinently,
its normal use is in relation to single women. "To make an honest woman" of
someone usually entails a man marrying a woman who is pregnant.

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Anonymous said…
Partly because of fluoride tablets I was given as a child,
those apparently make teeth much stronger. I also avoid
overly aggressive toothpaste and mainly use mouthwash to kill whatever might be alive
in there.
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Anonymous said…
Their desperation is complete. And while all of Vegas
is without hope and culture, that older side of Vegas is
completely barren of expectation and even joy; the last
thread upon which to string a selfish desire for easy wealth.

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Anonymous said…
The wheelchair didn't tip over but the suspect then used the
end of the broom to swing at her face and hit her with it." Officer Byron White, BPD spokesman, said officers initially responded, Jan.
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Anonymous said…
Reviewed 10 August 2016 via mobile Worse service and audacity with no limitsWe were
a bunch of friends for a couple of days in Hungary for our friend's wedding.

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Anonymous said…
"What about the kids" They'll be fine too. After the divorce was final she would pick the boys up at my
home. The little one did not want to leave and would
tell her so. Keep it up for a lifetime.
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Anonymous said…
Fundamentally, there has been a failure to frame the climate change story in a way that
people understand and believe. Stories are
what sway opinion, Mr. Marshall writes, and a lie powerfully told will outsell a
dull truth.
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Anonymous said…
You start dropping by auctions to pick up antiques and other items for resale, and then expand online.
Everything is going great, even when the cops check you out for, well, trading in human skulls.

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Anonymous said…
Who decides this The whole thing really makes you wonder.
In fact, surveys have show that is a large percentage of US citizens would be in favor of topless or nude beaches,
yet we have very few in the whole country.

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Anonymous said…
56% said this one! b) No. 3% said 딜도 this one! c) Kinda, but let me at it!

45% said this one! (Portland, you're a dirty, dirty city.) 6)
Which is sexiest: a) Thomas Jefferson's affair with his slave Sally Hemmings.
16% said this one!
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Anonymous said…
Standing naked in front of you I force you into my own suspender belt, much deeper and tighter than the
lemon one you had on before, this one is purple with lace trim and three suspenders each side which after rolling
my fully fashioned stocking up.
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Anonymous said…
Sexypics fisting parties. There are anal fisting fisting.
Hugecock anal fisting lessons. We of course see this all of the time with
women, even if its not explicitly about sex.
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Anonymous said…
Lillian Faderman, in her book Surpassing the Love of
Men, speaks of many examples of men that misinterpreted romantic relationships between, believing them to be friendships.

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Anonymous said…
The New York Toy Collective is a queer collective based in Brooklyn that
makes wildly cool 3D printed sex toys.
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Anonymous said…
It is not a judgment call; porn just never did anything for me.
After being exposed to different parts of the industry in the past year, though, I realized that wasn't
completely true.
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Anonymous said…
She even let her gf in the room once to see me tied up
and blindfolded, with a dildo in my ass, just to prove
who is in charge. I can think of anything else that really makes
me feel as submissive as some humiliation.
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Anonymous said…
Cleaning up one another is an intimate and seductive act.

You can do this by using a sponge, soft washcloth, mild soap or gentle shampoo on each
other body.
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Anonymous said…
Are you easily offended "The picture is just a fuckin', it's like a politician lookin' dude holding a bible in one hand and a dildo in the other and there's like a young boy crying in the corner. Hahahahaha.
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Anonymous said…
I don understand him not wanting you to talk during sex, but I guess some guys are like that; I love it
when Mrs talks to me during sex. Love the sound of her voice.
He's most of the time not abusive at all but when he drinks he is.

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Anonymous said…
But perhaps the most common and embarrassing hangover is the sexual harassment complaint that is
triggered, or aggravated, by festivities that get out of hand.Joel P.

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Anonymous said…
I am willing to pay for anal fisting videos. Greatxxx fisting machine.
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