Ruined Pizza Theory
The Ruined Pizza Theory (A Model of Modern Politics) Let me introduce you to Ruined Pizza Theory, as it applies to political platforms and messaging. First, look at this nerd and his campaign platform. Look at that big damned thing. Just scroll. Keep scrolling. Look at all that stuff. It’s a comprehensive platform. Thoughtful. Detailed. Exhaustive. Every issue carefully addressed, every plank lovingly polished. It’s the kind of thing political science professors get hard over. Now, let's imagine each plank is a pizza topping. Everyone understands pizza, that’s why it's helpful in explaining concepts. If we’re ordering a one-topping pizza, and I ask a group of people what they want, the answers are going to cluster around the same handful of popular options. Pepperoni. Sausage. Extra cheese. You might get a wildcard like mushrooms, but nobody’s shouting for anchovies on the first pass. That’s politics at its most functional. Broad appeal. Low friction. Something we can mostly ag...
