Mom’s Slinging Another Litter for The Man.

My mom is pregnant with her third litter of clones. Let me explain. It was a dark future for planet Earth that left the poorer classes responsible for acting as surrogates to the wealthier classes clones. Once the neuron barrier had been figured out it was a simple question of ensuring the clones lacked a brain. A joke from lower classes went; Only the Rich Are Born Without Brains. It stands as an indication both of their poverty in humor and material wealth.

Efforts had been made for decades by Anti-Materialist spiritual leaders, but their inevitable fame led to their moral collapse and instead of helping the impoverished they insulated themselves with Financial Masturbation in light of Global Collapse. They sometimes called themselves Christian, but their failure had been replicated by many other names. Still other Religious Leaders thought it prudent to explode civilians as an acceptable act in the name of God. It was a very unfortunate situation all around.

The Global Collapse, historians agree, was entirely hallucinatory. At the heart of it lay America. For generations Commercial and Information Conglomerates, backed by powerful Merchandising Corporations created a financial system based entirely on fake numbers. These fake numbers would be negotiated between powerful men who had absolutely no idea where their fortune really came from. The funny thing about the entire thing was that you can’t eat gold.

News of The Global Collapse was made up by a Renegade InfoProphet identified only as Q. The letter is short for either Quotient, Quotable, or QuetzoQuaddle, but sources have confirmed the alias was “made-up as well.”. Q began disseminating truth into smaller sub cells of internet culture to the point where News Conglomerates could no longer cite any credible sources for any information. Through notions like Total Deniability and Antimation Q positioned veiled truths and overt lies to create a news story too interesting not to run;

“Rich People Desire Poor to Propagate Clone Harvesting Moon Program”

Such an absurd notion had certainly been thought through before in any number of corporate board rooms and churches. But once the string had been plucked and the information tuned; The Globe Collapsed. It was widely agreed it was something to see.

So now we’re here. My mom is still pregnant with her third litter of clones. The Culprit Q remains at large. The world is still spinning. They tell me that those that are left behind [me and anyone else making less than $1,000, 000 yearly (gross)], will have to wear gas-mask sun-ponchos pretty soon, as the sun is starting to cook people with it’s flares. Our clones [if we can afford them] will have to survive in a Graveyard of conflicting species.

I remember the day the last Giraffe died like it was yesterday. From the look of the equipment they had him hooked up to he was giving it a good fight. Maybe it was all worth it to domesticate them. Who knows anymore? I write this to you who return to our grave, thousands of years later, to read our words and appreciate our lives. Off to the water mine.

Comments

Andrew said…
Short and sweet…and a little random.

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