The Space Tempest 42K

The Space Tempest 42,000: Another Space Opera

Based on The Tempest by William Shakespeare.

Reconceived by Jeremiah Liend

Place: An Uninhabited Asteroid.

Names of the Actors.

Alf the Melmacian, Chapter Master of Ultramar:

Sebastian Neverendingstory, his Brother.

Prospero, the right Duke of Tallassar.

Indigo Indigoonio his brother, the usurping Duke of Tallassar.

Ferdinand Dacow, Son to the King of Ultramar.

Gonzo, an honest old muppet.

Adrian, & Francisco, space-Lords.

Caliban, a savage and deformed slave.

Trinculo, a jester.

Stephano, a drunken Butler.

Master of a Space-Ship.

Battle Barge-Swaine.

Space Mariners.

Miranda, daughter to Prospero.

Ariel, an air spirit and cartoon.







Actus primus, Scena prima. [Act 1 Scene 1]

[A tempestuous noise of Thunder and Lightning heard: Enter a Space-Ship-master,
and a  Battle-Barge-swain.]

  Space-Ship-Master: Barge-swaine

  Battle-Barge-swain: Here Space-Ship-Master: What sup? Witchoo?

  Space-Master: Good. Speak to the Space-Mariners: fall to it, quickly, or we run our selves a space-ground, be quick, like a jack-rabbit!

[Exit Space-Master.]

[Enter Space-Mariners.]

  Battle-Barge-swain: Hey my hearts, cheerily, cheerily my hearts: you are, you are: Take in the top-space-sail: Tend to the Space-Masters whistle: Blow till thou burst thy wind, if room enough.

[Enter Alf, Sebastian Beforetime, Indigo Indigonnio, Ferdinando Dacow, Gonzo the Muppet, and others. Lots of others. We’ll get there… so just hold onto your space-horses, OK?]

Alf: Good Space-Barge-swaine have care: where's the Space-Ship-Master? Tell the dudefaces.

  Battle-Barge-swain: I pray now keep below. Space is super-dangerous.

  Indigo: Where is the Space-Master, Boson?

  Battle-Barge-swain: Do you not hear him? You mar our labor. Keep in your space-cabins: you assist the warp-storm.

  Gonzo: Nay, dude, be good, be patient.

  Battle-Barge-swain. When the void is hence, what cares these yellers for the name of The God Emperor? To Space-Cabins! Silence! Save your oxygen! Trouble us not.

  Gonzo. Good, but remember who you have aboard.

    Battle-Barge-swain. None that I more love then myself. You are a High School Job Counselor, if you can command these periodic Elements to silence, and work the peace of the present, we will not hand a space-rope more, use your authorities: If you cannot, give thanks you have lived so long, and make yourself ready in your Space-Cabin for the mischance of the hour, if it so happens. Cheerily good hearts: out of our way I say!

[Exit Swain.]

  Gonzo. I have great comfort from this fellow: I think he has no exploding mark upon him, his complexion is perfect Gallows: stand fast good Fate to his hanging, make the space-rope of his destiny our cable, for our own is little advantage: If he be not born to be hanged, our case is miserable. If he be born to be wild? Well, that’s another matter.

[Enter Battle-Barge-swain.]

 Battle-Barge-swain. Down with the space-Mast: yeah, lower, lower,
bring her to fly with Space-Maine-course. A plague -

A cry within. Enter Sebastian, Indigoonio & Gonzo.

Battle-Barge-swain. Upon this howling: they are louder than the space-weather,
or our space-office: yet again? What do you here? Shall we grab ore and drown, have you a mind to sink?

  Sebastian. A pox on your throat, you bawling, blasphemous uncharitable Space-Dog.

  Battle-Barge-swain.  Work you then.

  Indigo. Hang cur, hang, you whoreson insolent Noise-maker, we are less afraid to be space-drowned, then thou art.

  Gonzo. I'll warrant him for drowning, though the space-Ship were no stronger then a Nutt-shell, and as leaky as an unstanched wench.

 Indigo. What does that mean? I don’t think you are using that word correctly.

  Battle-Barge-swain.  Lay her a hold, a hold, set her two courses off to space again, lay her off.

Enter Space-Mariners wet and glowing.

  SpaceMarines. All lost? To prayers, to prayers, all lost. Confirmed.

  Battle-Barge-swain.  What must our mouths be cold?

  Gonzo. The Chapter Master, and Space-Prince, at prayers, let's assist them, for our case is as theirs

   Sebastian. I am out of patience. For these shenanigans.

   Indigo. We are merely cheated of our lives by drunkards, This wide-chopped-rascal, would you might lay space-drowning the washing of ten radiation tides.

   Gonzo. He'll be space-hanged yet, Though every drop of his own urine swear against it, And gape at widest to glut him.

[A confused noise within.]

Gonzo.  Emperor’s Mercy on us. We split up, we split up, Farewell my wife, and children,
Farewell brother: we split, we split, we WILL split. Out of here.

   Indigo. Let's all sink with the Chapter Master!

  Sebastian. Let's take leave of him.

[Exit Sebastian]

  Gonzo. Now would I give a thousand cubic furlongs of space, for an acre of barren ground: Long heath, browne space-firs, anything; the wills above be done, but I would much rather die a land death.

[Exit all.]

Scena Secunda. [Scene 2]

[Enter Prospero and Miranda.]

  Miranda. If by your Art (my dearest father) you have put the wild waters in this roar;
allay them: The sky it seems would power down stinking pitch,
But that the Sea, mounting to the welkins cheek,
Dashes the fire out. Oh! I have suffered
With those that I saw suffer: A brave space-vessel
(Who had no doubt some noble creature in her)
Dashed all to pieces: Oh the cry did knock
Against my very hearts: poor souls, they perished.
Had I been any God of power, I would
Have sunk the space within the Earth, or else
It should the good space-Ship so have swallowed, and
The fraughting Souls within her

   Prospero. Be collected, No more amazement: Tell your piteous hearts
there's no harm done. You’re OK, kitten.

   Miranda. O woe, the day

   Prospero. No harm: I have done nothing, but in care of you
(Of you my dear one; you my daughter) who are ignorant of what you are. Not knowing
Of whence I am: nor that I am more better then Prospero, Master of a full poor space-cell, And thy no greater Father.

   Miranda. More to know never meddle with my thoughts.

   Prospero. It is time I should inform you farther: Lend your hand and pluck my magic garment from me: So, lay there my art: wipe thou your eyes, have comfort, The dire spectacle of the wreck which touched the very virtue of compassion in you: I have with such provision in mine art so safely ordered, that there is no soul, no not so much perdition as an hair beside any creature in the space-vessel which thou heard cry, which you saw crash: Sit down, for thou must now know farther.

   Miranda. You have often begun to tell me what I am, but stopped and left me to a bootless inquisition, concluding, wait: not yet.

   Prospero. The hour’s now come the very minute bids you open your ears,
Obey, and be attentive. Can you remember a time before we came into this space-Cell?
I do not think you can, for then you were not quite three years old.

   Miranda. Certainly, sir, I can.

   Prospero. By what? By any other house, or person? Of anything the image, tell me, that
which hath kept with thy remembrance?

   Miranda. It’s far off: And rather like a dream, then an assurance that my remembrance warrants: Had I not four, or five women once, that tended me?

  Prospero. You did; and more Miranda: But how is it that this lives in your mind? What else do you see in the dark-backward and abysmal flow of time?
If you remember why you came here, how you came here you may…

   Miranda. But that I do not.

   Prospero. Twelve years since (Miranda) twelve years since, your father was the Duke of Talassar and a Prince of power:

  Miranda. Sir, are not you my Father?

  Prospero. Your Mother was a piece of virtue, and she said you were my daughter; and your father was Duke of Talassar, and his only heir, and Space-Princesses; no worse issued.

   Miranda. O the heavens, what foul play had we, that we came from thence?
Or blessed was it we did?

  Prospero. Both, both my girl. By foul-play (dun-dun-dun… as you said) were we headed thence, but blessedly came hither

   Miranda. O my hearts bleed to think of the things that I have turned you to,
Which is from my remembrance, please you, farther;

  Prospero. My brother and thy uncle, called Indigo Indigoonio:
I pray you mark me, that a brother should be so perfidious: he, who next your self
of all the world I loved, and to him put the managing of my space-state, as at that time
Through all the signatories it was the first, and Prospero, the ultra-prime Duke, being so reputed
in dignity; and for the liberal arts degrees, Without a parallel; those being all my studies,
the Space-Government I cast upon my brother, And to my space-State grew stranger, being transported And rapt in secret studies, your false uncle (Do you attend me?)

  Miranda. Sir, most heedfully.

   Prospero. Being once perfected how to grant space-law-suits, how to deny them: who to advance, and who to trash for over-charging; new created the space-creatures that were mine, I say, or changed them, or else new formed them; having both the key, of Officer, and office, set all hearts in the state to what tune pleased his ear, that now he was the elephant which had hid my princely trunk, and sucked my verdure out with it: You listen not?

  Miranda. O good Sir, I do.

Prospero. I pray you mark me: I thus neglecting worldly ends, all dedicated
to closeness, and the bettering of my mind with that, which but by being so retired
Space-Ore-prized all popular rate: in my false brother awaked an evil nature, and my trust
like a good parent, did beget of him a falsehood in it's contraries, as great
as my trust was, which had indeed no limit, a confidence unbound. He being thus Space-Lorded, not only with what my interests yielded, but what my power might else exact. Like one
who having too much truth, by telling of it, made such a sinner of his memories to credit his own a lie, he did believe he was indeed the Space-Duke, out of the substitution and executing the outward face of royalty with all prerogative: hence his ambition growing: Do you hear?

  Miranda. Your tale, Sir, would cure deafness.

   Prospero. To have no screen between this part he played, And him he played it for, he needs will be Absolute Ultramarian, Me (poor man) my library was Space-Dukedome large enough: of temporal royalties he thinks me now incapable. Confederates (so drunk he was for reals) with Chapter Master of Ultramar to give him semi-Annual tribute, do him homage, subject his coronet, to his Space-Crown and bend The Space-Dukedom yet unbowed (alas poor Tallassar)
To most ignoble stooping…

   Miranda. Oh the space heavens:

  Prospero. Mark his condition, and the event, then tell me if this might be a brother?

   Miranda. I should sin to think but nobly of my Grand-mother, good wombs have borne bad sons.

   Prospero. Zing. You got me, there.  Now the condition. This Chapter Master of Ultramar being an enemy to me inveterate, hearkens my brothers space law suit, which was, that he in lieu of the premises, of homage, and I know not how much tribute, should presently extirpate me and mine Out of the Space-Dukedome, and confer fair Tallassar with all the honors, on my brother: Whereon a treacherous army leagued, one mid-night fated to the purpose, did Indigo Indigoonio open the space-gates of Tallassar, and in the dead of darkness the ministers for the purpose hurried thence me, and thy crying self.

   Miranda. Alack, for pity: I not remembering how I cried out then, will cry it now: it is a hint
That wrings mine eyes too it.

      Prospero.  Hear a little further, And then I’ll bring you to the present businesses
which now is upon us: without the which, this story were most impertinent… let alone irrelevant.

   Miranda. Why did they not that hour destroy us?

  Prospero.  Well demanded, kid: My tale provokes that question: Dear, they did not,
so dear the love my people bore me: nor set a mark so bloody on the business; but
with colors fairer, painted their foul ends. In few, they hurried us aboard a spaceship,
bore us some parsecs into space, where they prepared a rotten carcass of a butt, not rigged,
nor tackle, nor batteries, space-sail, nor mast, the very space-rats instinctively fled it: There they fire us to cry to space, that roared to us; to sigh to the solar winds, whose pity sighing back again did us but laughing wrong.

   Miranda. Alas, what trouble was I then to you?

   Prospero. Oh, a Cherubim, you were that which did preserve me; You did smile, infused with a fortitude from heaven, when I have spread the space with frozen drops of salt, under my burthen groaned, which raised in me an undergoing stomach, to bear up against what should ensue.

   Miranda. How came we a shore?

   Prospero.  By providence divine, some food, we had, and some fresh water, that a noble Muppet Gonzo, out of his charity, (who being then appointed master of this designer) did give us, with rich garments, linens, stuffs, and necessaries which since have rotted much, so of his gentleness knowing I loved my e-books, he furnished me from mine own library, with volumes, that I prize above my Space-Dukedome.

   Miranda. Would I might but ever see that muppet.

   Prospero.  Now I arise, sit still, and hear the last of our space-sorrow: Here in this asteroid we arrived, and here have I, thy schoolmaster, made you more profit then other Princess can, that have more time for vainer hours; and tutors, not so careful.

   Miranda. Heavens thank you for it. And now I pray you Sir, For still it is  beating in my mind; your reason for raising this Space-storm?

   Prospero.  Know thus far forth, by accident most strange, bountiful fortune
(Now my dear Lady) hath mine enemies brought to this shore: And by my prescience
I find my zenith doth depend upon a most auspicious star, whose influence if now I court not, but omit; my fortunes will ever after droop: Here cease more questions, you are inclined to sleep: It is a good dullness, and give it way: I know thou canst not choose:
Come away, Servant, come; I am ready now, Approach my Ariel. Come.

[Enter Ariel.]

  Ariel. All hail, great master, grave sir, hail: I come to answer your best pleasure; be it to fly,
to swim, to dive into the fire: to ride on the curled clouds: to thy strong bidding, task Ariel, and all her quality.

   Prospero.  Hast thou, cartoon, performed to point, the Space Tempest that I bad thee?

   Ariel. To every article. I boarded the Chapter Master’s ship: now on the beak,
now in the Waste-chute, the deck, in every Space-Cabin, I flamed amazement, sometime I would divide and burn in many places; on the top-space-mast, the yards and boring-cartoons, would I flame distinctly, then meet, and sing. Loose lightning, the precursors to the dreadful Thunder-claps more momentary And sight out-running were not; the fire, and cracks of sulphurous roaring, the most mighty King Neptune seemed to besiege, and make his bold waves tremble,
Yea, his dread Trident shake, and blast sea-magic.

   Prospero.  My brave cartoon, who was so firm, so constant, that this crew would not infect her reason?

  Ariel. Not a soul but felt a fever of the mad, and plaid some tricks of desperation; all but space-Mariners Plunged in the blackened void, and quit the space-vessel;
Then all a fire with me the Chapter Master’s son Ferdinand with hair upstanding (then like reeds, not hair) was the first man that leapt; cried hell is empty, and all the Devils are here.

   Prospero.  Why that's my cartoon mermaid: But was not this near shore?

   Ariel. Close by, my master.

   Prospero.  But are they (Ariel) safe?

   Ariel. Not a hair perished: On their sustaining garments not a blemish,
but fresher then before: and as you ordered me, in troops I have dispersed them about the asteroid: The Chapter Master’s son have I landed by himself, whom I left cooling of the radiation with sighs, In an odd angle of the suns, and sitting his arms in this sad knot.

   Prospero.  Of the Chapter Masters ship, the Space-Mariners, say how thou hast disposed,
and all the rest o f the fleet?

  Ariel. Safely in space-harbor is the Chapter Master’s space-ship, in the deep nook, where once
you called me up at midnight to fetch space-dew From the still-vexed Bermoothes, there she's hid; The Space-Mariners all under hatches stowed, who, with a charm joined to their suffered labor I have left a-space-sleep: and for the rest of the fleet (Which I dispersed) they all have met again, and are upon the general quadrant. Bound sadly home for Ultramar, Supposing that they saw the Chapter Master’s ship wrecked, and his great person perish.

    Prospero.  Ariel, your charge exactly is performed; but there's more work: What is the time of the day?

    Ariel. Time to buy a watch! Ha… it is past the mid season.

    Prospero.  At least two glasses: the time between six & now must by us both be spent most preciously.

    Ariel. Is there more toil? Since you give me pains, let me remember what you have promised, which is not yet performed to me.

    Prospero.  How now? Brown cow? Moody? Much? What is it you can demand?

   Ariel. My Liberty.

   Prospero.  Before the time is out? No more.

  Ariel. I pray you, remember I have done you worthy service, told you no lies, made you no mistakes, served without a grudge, or grumblings; you did promise to use me a full year.

   Prospero.  Do you forget from what a torment I did free you?

   Ariel. No…

   Prospero.  You do, and think it much to tread on ooze of the deep space;
To run upon the sharp solar wind of the North Star, to do me businesses in the veins of the earth
when it is baked with frost…

   Ariel. I do not, Sir.
Prospero.  You lie, malignant thing: have you forgot the foul witch Sycorax, who with age and envy was grown into a hoop? Have you forgotten her?

Ariel. No Sir. I have met a number of witches, over the years.

Prospero.  You HAVE forgoten: where was she born? Speak: tell me.

Ariel. Sir, in Argier.

Prospero.  Oh, was she so: I must once in a month recount what thou hast been,
Which you forget. This damned witch Sycorax for mischiefs manifold, and sorceries terrible
to enter humane hearing, from Argier you know was banished: for one thing she did
they would not take her life: Is not this true?

   Ariel. Sure, Sir.

   Prospero.  This blue eyed hag, was hither brought with child,
And here was left by the sailors; you my slave,
As you reported yourself, was then her servant,
And for you was a cartoon too delicate
To act her earthy, and abhorred commands,
Refusing her grand heists, she did confine you
By help of her more potent magicians,

 Prospero.[continued]And in her most immitigable rage,
Into a cloven Pine, within which rift
Imprisoned, you did painfully remain
A dozen years: within which space she did not,
And left you there: where you did vent your groans
As fast as Mill-wheels strike: Then was this space-island
(Save for the Son, that he did litter here,
A freckled whelp, hag-borne) not honored with
A humane shape.

   Ariel. Yes, Caliban her son. Expose much?

   Prospero.  Dull thing, I say so: he, that Caliban
whom now I keep in service, you best know
What torment I did find you in; thy groans
Did make wolves howl, and penetrate the breasts
Of ever-angry Bears; it was a torment
To lay upon the damned, which Sycorax
Could not again undo: it was mine liberal Art,
When I arrived, and heard thee, that made gape
The Pine, and let you out.

   Ariel. I thank thee, master.

   Prospero.  If you more murmur, I will rend an Oak
And peg-thee in his knotty entrails, till you have howled away twelve winters…

   Ariel. Pardon, master, I will be correspondent to command
and do my tooning gently.

   Prospero.  Do so: and after two days I will discharge you.

   Ariel. That's my noble master! What shall I do? Say what? What shall I do?

  Prospero.  Go make yourself like a nymph of the sea,
Be subject to no sight but yours, and mine: invisible
To every eye-ball and cyber-eye else: go take this shape
And hither come in it: go: hence. With diligence.

[Exit Ariel.]

  Prospero.  Awake, dear heart awake, you have slept well, awake!

   Miranda. The strangeness of your story, put heaviness in me…

   Prospero.  Shake it off: Come on, we'll visit Caliban, my slave, who never
yields us kind answer.

   Miranda. It’s a villain sir, I do not want to look on.

   Prospero. But as it is, we cannot miss him: he does make our fire,
Fetch in our wood, and serves in offices that profit us:
What sup!? Slave!? Caliban!?
Thou Eart, thou: speak!

   Caliban. [off] There's wood enough within!

   Prospero. Come here I say, there's other business for you: Come you tortoise, when?

Enter Ariel like an “invisible” water nymph.

 Prospero. Fine apparition: my quaint Ariel, hearken in thine ear.

   Ariel. My lord, it shall be done.

  Prospero. Thou poisonous slave, got by the devil himself upon thy wicked Ma; come forth.

[Enter Caliban.]

  Caliban. As wicked dew, as ever my mother brushed with Ravens feather from unwholesome fen, drop on you both: A Southwest blow on you, and blister you all over.

   Prospero. For this be sure, to night you will have cramps,
Side-stitches, that shall pen thy breath up, Urchins shall for that vast of night,
that they may work all exercise on you: you shall be pinched as thick as honeycomb,
each pinch more stinging than bees that made them…

   Caliban. I must eat my dinner:
This space-island is mine by Sycorax my mother,
Which you took from me: when you came first
You stroked me, and made much of me: would give me
Water with berries in it: and teach me how to name the bigger light,
and how the less that burn by day, and night: and then I loved you
And showed you all the qualities of the isle, the fresh springs, brine-pits; barren place and fertile,
Cursed be I that did so: All the charms of Sycorax: Toads, Beetles, Bats light on you:
For I am all the subjects that you have, which first was mine own King: and here you trap me
in this hard Rock, while you keep from me the rest of the asteroid.

   Prospero. You most lying slave, whom stripes may move, not kindness:
I have used you (Filth as you are) with humane care,
and lodged you in mine own space-Cell, till you did seek to violate the honor of my child.

   Caliban. Oh ho, oh ho, would it have been done:
You prevented me, before I had peopled all this rock with Calibans.

   Miranda. Abhorred Slave, which any print of goodness wilt not take,
Being capable of all ill: I pitied you, took pains to make you speak, taught you each hour
one thing or other: when you did not (Savage) know your own meaning; but would gabble,
like a thing most brutish, I endowed your purposes with words that made them known:
But your wild race (though you did learn) had that in it, which good natures
Could not abide to be with; therefore were you deservedly confined into this rock,
who had deserved more than a prison.

   Caliban. You taught me language, and my profit on it is, I know how to curse:
the red-plague rid you for learning me your language…

   Prospero. Still a ways to go. Hag-seed, go hence:
Fetch us fuel, and be quick, you are best to answer other business:
Shrug it out, dude (Malice) if you neglect, or do unwillingly what I command,
I will rack you with menstrual cramps, fill all your bones with aches,
make you roar, that beasts shall tremble at your den.

   Caliban. No. I pray thee. I must obey, his magic is of such power,
it would control my mom’s God Setebos, and make a vassal of him.

   Prospero. Go slave, hence.

[Exit Caliban.]

[Enter Ferdinand & Ariel, invisible playing & singing.]

  Ariel Song. Come unto these yellow sands, and then take hands:
Curtsied when you have, and kissed the wild waves whist:
Foot it featly here, and there, and sweet sprites bear the burthen.
Hark, hark, bowgh wawgh: the watch-Dogs bark,

   Ariel. Hark, hark, I hear, the strain of strutting Chanticleer
cry cockadidle-dowe!

   Ferdinand. Where should this music be? In the air, or the earth?
It sounds no more: and sure it waits upon some God of the asteroid,
sitting on a bank, weeping again the Chapter Master, my father’s wreck.
This Music crept by me upon the waters, allaying both their fury, and my passion
With it's sweet air: thence I have followed it (Or it has drawn me, rather) but it is gone.
No, it begins again!

   Ariel. [Song] Full fathoms five thy father lies,
Of his bones are space-coral made:
Those are pearls that were his eyes,
Nothing of him that doth fade,
But doth suffer a Void-change
Into something rich, & strange:
Space-Nymphs hourly ring his knell.

   Ferdinand. The ditty does remember my space-drowned father,
This is no mortal business, nor no sound that the earth owns: I hear it now above me.

   Prospero. The fringed curtains of your eye advance, and say what you see here.

   Miranda. What is it a cartoon? Lord, how it looks about: Believe me sir,
it carries a brave form. But it is a cartoon, or spirit.

   Prospero. No girl, it eats, and sleeps, and has such senses as we have: such.
This Gallant which you see was in the wreck: and he is but something stained
with grief (that's beauties cancer) you might call him a goodly person:
he has lost his fellows, and strays about to find them.

   Miranda. I might call him a thing divine, for nothing natural I ever saw so noble…

   Prospero. It goes on, I see, as my soul prompts it: Cartoon, fine mermaid, I’ll free you
within two days for this. For reals.

   Ferdinand. Most sure the Goddesses on whom these airs attend:
Vouchsafe my prayer may be know if you remain upon this asteroid,
And that you will some good instruction give on how I may bear me here:
my prime request (Which I do last pronounce) is (O you wonder) if you be maid, or no?

  Miranda. No wonder sir, but certainly a maid.

   Ferdinand. My Language? Heavens: I am the best of them that speak this speech,
were I but where it is spoken!

   Prospero. How? The best? What if the Chapter Master of Ultramar heard you?

  Ferdinand. A single thing, as I am now, that wonders to hear you speak of Ultramar:
He does hear me, and that he does, I weep: myself an Ultramarine, who, with mine cyber-eyes (never since at ebb) beheld The Chapter Master, my father, wrecked.

   Miranda. Alack, for mercy!

   Ferdinand. Yes faith, and all his space-Lords, the Duke of Talassar, and his brave son.

   Prospero. The Duke of Tallassar and his more braver daughter, could control you
If now it were fit to do it: At the first sight they have changed eyes: Delicate Ariel,
I’ll set you free for this. A word good sir, I fear you have done yourself some wrong: A word!

   Miranda. Why speaks my father so ungently? This is the third man that ever I saw: the first
That ever I sighed for: pity move my father to be inclined my way.

   Ferdinand. O, if a virgin, and your affection not gone forth, I’ll make you the Queen of Ultramar.

   Prospero. Soft sir, one word more. They are both in either’s powers:
But this swift business I must uneasy make, least too light winning make the prize light.
One word more! I charge that you attend me: You do here usurp the name you own not,
and have put thy self upon this asteroid, as a spy, to win it from me, the Emperor on it.

   Ferdinand. No, as I am a superman.

   Miranda. There’s nothing ill, that can dwell in such a space-temple, if the ill-spirit have so fixed a house, good things will strive to dwell within it.

  Prospero. Follow me speak not you for him: he’s a traitor: come, I’ll manacle your neck and feet together: Pee water shall you drink: thy food shall be the gross-brook mussels, withered roots, and husks wherein the acorn cradled. Follow!

 Ferdinand. No, I will resist such entertainment, till mine enemy has more power.

[Ferdinand draws a chainsword, and is charmed from moving.]

  Miranda. O dear father, make not too rash a trial of him, for he's gentle, and not fearful!

   Prospero. What I say, my foot, my Tutor? Put thy chainsword up traitor,
Who makes a show, but dares not strike: your conscience is so possessed with guilt:
Come, from thy ward, for I can here disarm you with this stick, and make thy weapon drop. Probably get chipped?

   Miranda. I beseech you, father!

   Prospero. Hence! Hang not on my garments.

   Miranda. Sir have pity, I’ll be his surety!

   Prospero. Silence: One word more shall make me chide you, if not hate you:
What, an advocate for an impostor? Hush: You think there are no more such shapes as he,
(Having seen but him and Caliban:) Foolish girl, to the most of men, this is a Caliban,
and they to him are Blood Angels.

   Miranda. My affections are then most humble: I have no ambition to see a goodlier superman.

   Prospero.Come on, obey! Your nerves are in their infancy again, and have no vigor in them.

   Ferdinand. So they are: My spirits, as in a dream, are all bound up:
My Fathers loss, the weakness which I feel, the wreck of all my friends, nor this man’s threats,
To whom I am subdued, are but light to me, might I but through my prison once a day
Behold this maiden: all corners else of the galaxy let liberty make use of: space enough
have I in such a space-prison.

   Prospero. It works! Come on. You have done well, fine Ariel: follow me,
Hear what else you shall do for me!

   Miranda. Be of comfort, my fathers of a better nature (Sir) than he appears by speech: this is unwonted, which now came from him.

   Prospero. You shall be as free as mountain winds; but then exactly do all points of my command.

   Ariel. To the syllable.

   Prospero. Come follow: speak not for him. Or to him. Shush, now.

[Exit all.]

Actus Secundus. Scoena Prima. [Act II Scene 1]

[Enter Alf, Sebastian, Indigo Indigoonio, Gonzo the Muppet, Adriane Rockylosses, Frank Francisco, and others. Others? Really, Shakespeare stealers? For reals? F. ]

  Gonzo. I beseech you sir, be merry; you have cause, (So have we all) of joy;
for our escape is much beyond our loss; our hint of woe is common, every day,
some spaceman’s wife, the Masters of some Merchant, and the Merchant
have just our theme of woe: But for the miracle, (I mean our preservation)
few in billions can speak like us: then wisely (good Sir) weigh our sorrow, with our comfort.

   Alf. I pray you peace…

   Sebastian. He receives comfort like cold porridge.

   Indigo. The visitor will not give him over so.

   Sebastian. Look, he's winding up the watch of his wit, by and by it will strike.

   Gonzo. Sir…

   Sebastian. One: Tell!

   Gonzo. When every grief is entertained, what's offered comes to the entertainer.

   Sebastian. A dollar!

   Gonzo. Dollars come to him indeed, you have spoken truer then you purposed.

   Sebastian. You have taken it wiselier then I meant you should.

   Gonzo. Therefore my space-Lord.

   Indigo. Fie, what a spend-thrift is he of his tongue.

   Alf. I pray you spare me…

   Gonzo. Well, I have done: …But yet!

   Sebastian. He will be talking.

   Indigo. Which, of he, or Adrian, for a good wager, first begins to crow?

  Sebastian. The old cock.

   Indigo. The Cockrell.

   Sebastian. Done: The wager?

   Indigo. A Laughter.

   Sebastian. A match.

   Indigo. Though this asteroid seems to be desert.

   Sebastian. Ha, ha, ha. Ha.

   Indigo. So: You're paid!

   Adriane. Uninhabitable, and almost inaccessible.

   Sebastian. Yet…

  Adrian. Yet…

  Indigo. He could not miss it.

   Adriane. It must needs be of subtle, tender, and delicate temperance.

   Indigo. Temperance was a delicate wench.

   Sebastian. I, and as subtle, as he most learnedly delivered.

   Adriane. The air breathes upon us here most sweetly. Air!

   Sebastian. As if it were IN lungs, and rotten ones…

   Indigo. Or, as if it was perfumed by a Fen?

   Gonzo. Here is everything advantageous to life.

   Indigo. True, save means to live.

   Sebastian. Of that there's none, or little.

   Gonzo. How lush and lusty the lichen looks? How green?

  Indigo. The ground indeed is tawny.

   Sebastian. With an eye of green in it.

   Indigo. He misses not much.

   Sebastian. No: he doth but mistake the truth totally.

   Gonzo. But the rarity of it is, which is indeed almost beyond credit.

   Sebastian. I hope I get into the credits. As many vouched rarities are.

   Gonzo. That our garments being (as they were) drenched in the pee, hold notwithstanding their freshness and glosses, being rather new dyed then stained with salt water.

   Indigo. If but one of his pockets could speak, would it not say he lies?
Sebastian. Aye, or very falsely pocket up his report.

   Gonzo. I think our garments are now as fresh as when we put them on first in Space-Africa, at the marriage of the kings faire daughter Clarabelle to the king of Tunisiatron.

   Sebastian. It was a sweet marriage, and we prosper well in our return.

   Adriane. Tunisiatron was never graced before with such a Paragon to their Queen.

   Gonzo. Not since widow Dido's time.

   Indigo. Widow? A smallpox on that: how came that widow in? Widow Dido!

  Sebastian. What if he had said Widower Aeneas too? Good Lord, how you take it?

  Adriane. Widow Dido said you? You make me study of that: She was of Carthage, not of Tunisiatron.

   Gonzo. This Tunistron Sir was space-Carthage

   Adriane. [Like the end of Rocky] Space-Carthage?

   Gonzo. I assure you space-Carthage.

   Adriane. Space-Carthage?

   Gonzo. SPACE-…Carthage!

   Indigo. His word is more than the miraculous harpy.

   Sebastian. He has raised the wall, and houses too.

   Indigo. What impossible matter will he make easy next?

  Sebastian. I think he will carry this asteroid home in his pocket, and give it his son for an Apple.

   Indigo. And sowing the kernels of it in the void, bring forth more asteroids.

   Gonzo. I…

   Indigo. Why in good time

   Gonzo. Sir, we were talking, that our garments seem now as fresh as when we were at Tunisiatron at the marriage of your daughter, who is now Queen. Space.

   Indigo. And the rarest that ever came there.

   Sebastian. Bate (I beseech you) widow Dido

   Indigo. O Widow Dido? I, Widow Dido!?! Are we talking about the musician!?

   Gonzo. Is not, sir, my doublet as fresh as the first day I wore it? I mean, in a sort?

   Indigo. That sort was well fished for.

   Gonzo. When I wore it at your daughter’s marriage?

   Alf. You cram these words into mine ears, against the stomach of my sense: would I had never
Married my daughter there: For coming thence my son is lost, and (in my rate) she too,
Who is so far from Terra removed, I never again shall see her: O thou mine heir
Of Ultramar and of Tallassar, what strange space-fish has made his meal on you?

  Indigo. Sir he may live, I saw him beat the warp surges under him,
And ride upon their backs; he trod the void whose enmity he flung aside: and breasted
The surge most swollen that met him: his bold head above the contentious waves he kept, and oared Himself with his good arms in lusty stroke to the belt; that ore his wave-worn basis bowed
As stooping to relieve him: I not doubt he came alive to land.

   Alf. No, no, he's gone.

  Sebastian. Sir, you may thank yourself for this great loss, that would not bless our planet with your daughter, but rather loose her to a Space-African, where she at least, is banished from your eye, who hath cause to wet the grief on it? Boo hoo!

   Alf. I pray you, peace.

   Sebastian. You were kneeled too, and importuned otherwise by all of vu:
 and the faire soul herself weighed between fear, and loathing, and obedience,
at which end of the beam should bow: we have lost your son, I fear for ever: Talassar and Ultramar have more widows in them of this business making, then we bring men to comfort them: The faults your own.

   Alf. So is the dearest of the loss.

   Gonzo. My Lord Sebastion, The truth you speak lacks some gentleness,
And time to speak it in: you rub the sore, when you should bring the band-aid.

   Sebastian. Very well.

   Indigo. And most surgeonelly.

   Gonzo. It is foul weather in us all, good sir, when you are cloudy!

  Sebastian. Foul weather?

 Indigo. Very foul…

   Gonzo. Had I plantation of this asteroid, my space-Lord.

  Indigo. He'd sow it with Nettle-seed.

   Sebastian. Or docks, or Mallows. For marsh-mallows.

   Gonzo. And were the Emperor on it, what would I do?

  Sebastian. Escape being drunk, for want of wine.

   Gonzo. In the Megasphere I would (by contraries)
Execute all things: For no kind of space Traffic would I admit:
No name of Magistrate: Letters should not be known: Riches, poverty, and use of services, none: Contract, Succession, Borne, bound of Land, Taxes on Vineyards none:
No use of Metal, Corn, or Wine, or Oil: No occupation, all men idle, all:
And women too, but innocent and pure: No Sovereignty.

   Sebastian. Yet he would be space-King on it.

  Indigo. The latter end of his Common-wealth forgets the beginning.

   Gonzo. All things in common Nature should produce without sweat or Endeavour:
Treason, fellony, chainSword, Pike, Knife, Gun, lasergun, or need of any Engine,
Would I not have: but Nature should bring forth of it own kind, all frozen, all abundance
to feed my innocent people.

   Sebastian. No marrying among his subjects?

Indigo. None (superman) all idle; Whores and knaves.

  Gonzo. I would with such perfection govern Sir: To Excel the Golden Age.

   Sebastian. Save his Majesty!

   Indigo. Long live Gonzo!

   Gonzo. And do you mark me, Sir?

  Alf. Pray thee no more: you do talk nothing to me.

   Gonzo. I do well believe your highnesses, and did it to minister occasion to these Gentle-spacemen, who are of such sensible and nimble lungs, that they always use to laugh at nothing.

  Indigo. It was you we laughed at.

   Gonzo. Who, in this kind of merry fooling am nothing to you: so you may continue, and laugh at nothing still.

Indigo. What a blow was there given?

  Sebastian. And it had not fallen flat-long.

   Gonzo. You are Gentlemen of brave metal: you would lift the Moon out of her sphere, if she would continue in it five weeks without changing.

[Enter Ariel playing solemn Music.]

  Sebastian. We would so, and then go a Bat-fowling.

Indigo. I don’t think that’s a real thing. Nay good my space-Lord, be not angry.

   Gonzo. No I warrant you, I will not adventure my discretion so weakly: Will you laugh me asleep, for I am very heavy.

Indigo. Go sleep, and hear us.

   Alf. What, all so soon asleep? I wish mine eyes would (with themselves) shut up my thoughts,
I find they are inclined to do so.

   Sebastian. Please you Sir, Do not omit the heavy offer of it:
It seldom visits sorrow, when it doth, it is a comforter.

  Indigo. We two my space-Lord, will guard your person, while you take your rest, and watch your safety.

   Alf. Thank you: Wondrous super-heavy.

   Sebastian. What a strange drowsiness possesses them?

  Indigo. It is the quality of the Climate. Or lack thereof. Hypoxia? Apoxia? Skip it.

   Sebastian. Why doth it not then our eye-lids sink? I am not disposed to sleep.

   Indigo. Nor I, my spirits are nimble:
They fell together all, as by consent they dropped, as by a Thunder-hammer-stroke:
what might worthy Sebastian? O, what might? No more:And yet, I think I see it in your face,
What you should be: the occasion speaks, and my strong imagination sees a crown dropping upon your head.

 Sebastian. What? Are you awake?

Indigo. Do you not hear me speak?

 Sebastian. I do, and surely it is a sleepy Language; and you speak out of your sleep:
What is it you said? This is a strange repose, to be asleep with eyes wide open:
standing, speaking, moving: And yet so fast asleep.

   Indigo. Noble Sebastian, you let your fortune sleep: die rather: wink while you are waking.

   Sebastian. You snore distinctly, there's meaning in your snores.

   Indigo. I am more serious then my custom: you must be so too, to heed me:
which to do, troubles you deeply.

   Sebastian. Well: I am standing water.

   Indigo. I’ll teach you how to flow.

   Sebastian. Do so: to ebb hereditary Sloth instructs me

  Indigo. O! If you but knew how you to cherish the purpose while thus you mock it:
how in stripping it you more invest it: ebbing men, indeed (Most often) do so never the bottom run by their own fear, or sloth…

   Sebastian. Say on, the setting of your eye, and cheek proclaim a matter from thee; and a birth, indeed, which throws you much to yield.

   Indigo. Thus Sir: Although this space-Lord of weak remembrance;
This who shall be of as little memory when he is earthed, hath here almost persuaded
(For he's a Spirit of persuasion, only Professes to persuade) the Chapter Master his son's alive,
It is as impossible that he's alive, as he that sleeps here, swims.

Sebastian. I have no hope that he's alive.

   Indigo. O, out of that no hope, what great hope have you? No hope that way,
 Is another way so high a hope, that even ambition cannot pierce a wink beyond
But doubt discovery there. Will you grant with me that Ferdinand is drowned?

   Sebastian. He's gone.

   Indigo. Then tell me, who's the next heir of Ultramar?

   Sebastian. Claribell

   Indigo. She that is Queen of Tunisiatron: she that dwells
Ten parsecs beyond man’s life: she that from Ultramar can have no note, unless the Suns were post: The Man in the Moon's too slow, till new-borne chins be rough, and Razor-able: She that from whom we all were void-swallowed, though some cast again, (And by that destiny) to perform an act whereof, what's past is Prologue; what to come in yours, and my discharge…

   Sebastian. What stuff is this? How say you? It’s true my brothers daughter's Queen of Tunisiatron, So is she heir of Ultramar, between which galactic Regions there is some space…

   Indigo. A space, whose every cubit seems to cry out, how shall that Claribell
Measure us back to Ultramar? Keep in Tunisiatron, and let Sebastian wake. Say, this were death
That now hath seized them, why they were no worse then now they are:
There be that can rule Ultramar as well as he that sleeps: space-Lords, that can prate
As amply, and unnecessarily as this Gonzo: I myself could make a song like that angry bird:
O, that you bore the mind that I do; what a sleep were this for your advancement? Do you understand me?

   Sebastian. I think I do.

   Indigo. And how does this content tender your own good fortune?

  Sebastian. I remember you did supplant your Brother Prospero.

   Indigo. True: And look how well my Garments sit upon me,
Much lighter then before: My Brothers servants were then my fellows, now they are my men.

   Sebastian. But for your conscience?

   Indigo. I Sir: where lies that? If it were a corn I would wear slippers:
But I feel not this Deity in my bosom:
Twenty consciences that stand between me, and Tallassar, candied be they,
And melt if they molest: Here lies your Brother, No better than the dirt he lies upon,
If he were that which now he's like (that's dead)
Whom I with this obedient steel (three inches of it)
Can lay to bed for ever: while you doing thus, to the perpetual wink of an eye might put
This ancient morsel: this Sir Prudence, who should not upbraid our course:
for all the rest they’ll take suggestion, as a cat laps milk, they’ll tell the clock,
to any business that we say befits the hour.

   Sebastian. Your case, dear FB Friend, Shall be my president: As thou goest Tallassar,
I'll come by Ultramar: Draw thy chainsword, one stroke shall free you from the tribute which you pay, and I the Chapter Master shall love you.

   Indigo. Draw together: And when I rear my hand, do you the like to fall it on Gonzo.

   Sebastian. O, but one word. But loud, because this is going to get loud fast.

[Enter Ariel with Music and Song.]

  Ariel. My Master through his Art foresees the danger that you (his friend) are in,
and sends me forth (For else his project dies) to keep them living.

Sings in Gonzo’s ear.

While you here do snoring lie,
Open-eyed Conspiracy
His time doth take:
If of Life you keep a care,
Shake off slumber and beware.
Awake, awake!!!

   Indigo. Then let us both be bloodied.

   Gonzo. Now, good Blood Angels preserve the Chapter Master!

   Alf. Why how now whoa! Awake? Why are you holding that dangerous weapon? Wherefore this ghastly looking around?

  Gonzo. What's the matter?

  Sebastian. While we stood here securing your repose, (Even now) we heard a hollow burst of bellowing like bulls, or rather lions, did it not wake you? It struck my ear most terribly

   Alf. I heard nothing.

   Indigo. Oh! It was a din to fright a Monster’s ear; To make an earthquake: sure it was the roar
Of a whole heard of lions! Or pride!? Whatever…

   Alf. Heard you this Gonzo?

  Gonzo. Upon my honor, Sir, I heard a humming, (And that a strange one too) which did awake me: I shook you Sir, and cried: as my eyes opened, I saw their weapons drawn:
there was a noise, that's for sure: It’s best we stand upon our guard; Or that we quit this place: let's draw our weapons…

   Alf. Lead off this ground and let's make further search for my poor son!

   Gonzo. Heavens keep him from these Beasts: For he is sure on the asteroid.

   Alf. Lead away!

   Ariel. Prospero my Lord, shall know what I have done. So (Chapter Master) go safely on to seek your son.

[Exit all.]

Scoena Secunda. [Scene 2]

[Enter Caliban, with a bunch of Wood (a noise of thunder heard.)]

  Caliban. All the infections that the sun sucks up from Bogs, Fens, Flats, on Prospero fall, and make him by Lymes a disease: his cartoons hear me, and yet I need to curse.
But they'll not pinch, fright me with Urchin-shoes, pitch me in the mire, nor lead me like a fire-brand, in the dark out of my way, unless he bid them; but for every trifle, are they set upon me,
Sometime like apes, that move and chatter at me, and after, bite me: then like sonic hedgehogs, which lay tumbling in my barefoot path, and mount their pricks at my foot-fall:
sometime am I all wound with adders, who with cloven tongues do hiss me into madness:
Lo, now Lo,

[Enter Trinculo.]

Here comes a hologram of his, and to torment me for bringing wood in slowly:
I'll fall flat, maybe he will not mind me.

   Trinculo. Here's neither bush, nor shrub to bear off any weather at all:
and another Warpstorm brewing, I hear it sing in the void:
yond same black cloud, yond huge one,
looks like a foul drunk that would shed his liquor:
if it should thunder, as it did before, I know not where to hide my head:
yond same cloud cannot choose but fall by the pail full.
What have we here, a man, or a fish? Dead or alive? A fish, he smells like a fish:
A very ancient and fish-like smell: a kind of, not of the newest porta-John: a strange fish:
were I in Terra now (as once I was) and had but this fish painted;
not a holiday-fool there but would give a shiny coin: There, would this Monster, make a man: any strange beast there, makes a man: when they will not give a poop to relieve a lame beggar, they will lay out ten to see a dead Indian:
Legged like a man; and his fins like arms: warm by my word: I do now let loose my opinion;
Hold it no longer; this is no fish, but an alien, that hath lately suffered by a Thunderbolt:
Alas, the storm is come again: my best way is to creep under his shelter:
There is no other cover hereabout: Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows:
I will here shroud until the worst of the storm is past.

[Enter Stephano singing.]

  Stephano. I shall no more to sea, to sea, here shall I die ashore.
This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man’s funeral: well, here's my comfort.
[Stephano drinks.
The Master, the Swabber, the Battle-Barge-swaine and I;
The laser-Gunner, and his space-Mate
Loud Mall, Meg, and Marian, and Margery,
But none of us carred for Kate.
For she had a tongue with a tang,
Would cry to a Sailor go hang:
She loved not the smell of Tar nor of Pitch,
Yet a tailor might scratch her where ever she did itch.
Then to sea Boys, and let her go hang.
This is a scurvy tune too:
But here's my comfort.

[Stephano drinks.]

  Caliban. Do not torment me: oh!

   Stephano. What's the matter? Have we duels here?
Do you put tricks upon with salvages, and Men of space? Ha?
I have not escaped dying, to be afraid now of your four legs:
for it hath bin said; as proper a man as ever went on four legs,
cannot make him give ground: and it shall be said so again, while Stephano
breathes through nostrils!

   Caliban. The cartoon torments me: oh!

   Stephano. This is some Monster of the Asteroid, with four legs;
who has got (as I take it) a problem: where the devil did he learn our language?
I will give him some relief if it be but for that: if I can recover him, and keep him tame,
and get to Ultramar with him, he's a Present for any Emperor that ever trod on Jackboots.

   Caliban. Doe not torment me please: I'll bring my wood home faster!

   Stephano. He's in his hissy fit now; and does not talk as the wisest; he shall taste of my Bottle: if he have never drunk wine afore, it will go far to remove his Fit: if I can recover him, and keep him tame, I will not take too much for him; he shall pay for him that hath him, and that soundly!

   Caliban. You do me yet but little hurt; thou wilt anon, I know it by thy trembling: Now Prospero works upon thee!

   Stephano. Come on your ways: open your mouth:
here is that which will give language to you Cat; open your mouth;
this will shake your shaking, I can tell you, and that soundly: you cannot tell who's your friend; open your chaps again!

   Trinculo. I should know that voice: It should be, but he is dead; and these are devils; Defend

   Stephano. Four legs and two voices; a most delicate Monster:
his forward voice now is to speak well of his friend; his backward voice, is to utter foul speeches,
and to detract: if all the wine in my bottle will recover him, I will help his problem: Come: Amen, I will pour some in thy other mouth.

   Trinculo. Stephano?

   Stephano. Does your other mouth call me? Mercy, mercy: This is a devil, and no Monster:
I will leave him, I have no long spoon…

   Trinculo. Stephano: if you are Stephano, touch me, and speak to me: for I am Trinculo; be not afeard, thy good friend Trinculo!

   Stephano. If you be Trinculo: come forth: I'll pull you by the lesser legs:
if any be Trinculo's legs, these are they: Thou art very Trinculo indeede:
how came you to be the siege of this Mooncalf? Can he vent Trinculo's?

  Trinculo. I took him to be killed with a thunder-hammer-stroke; but art thou not dead Stephano: I hope now you are not dead: Is the Warpstorm over-blown? I hid under the dead Mooncalf’s tarp, for fear of the Storm: And are you living Stephano? O Stephano, two dudefaces escaped?

  Stephano. Please do not turn me about, my stomach is not constant.

   Caliban. These be fine things, and if they be not sprites: that's a brave God, and bears Celestial liquor: I will kneel to him.

   Stephano. How did you escape? How came you hither?
Swear by this bottle how you cam hither: I escaped upon a Butt of Sack, which the marines heaved overboard, by this bottle which I made of the bark of a Tree, with my own hands, since I landed here.

   Caliban. I'll swear upon that bottle, to be thy true subject, for the liquor is not earthly.

   Stephano. Here: swear then how you escaped.

   Trinculo. Flew ashore (man) like a Duck: I can fly like a Duck I’ll be sworn.

   Stephano. Here, kiss the Book. Though you can fly like a Duck, you are made like a Goose.

   Trinculo. O Stephano, have you any more of this?

  Stephano. The whole Butt (man) my Cellar is in a rock by the space-side, where my wine is hid:
How now brown cow, Mooncalf? What is your major malfunction?

  Caliban. Have you not dropped from heaven?

  Stephano. Out of the Moon I do assure you. I was the Man in the Moon, when time was…

   Caliban. I have seen you in her: and I do adore you: My Mistress showed me you, and your dog, and your bush…

   Stephano. Gross, man. Come, swear to that: kiss the Book:
I will furnish it anon with new Contents: Swear.

   Trinculo. By this good light, this is a very shallow Monster:
I was afraid of him? A very weak Monster: One hit die, maybe two.
The Man in the Moon? A most poor credulous Monster:
Well drawn Monster, in good sooth…

   Caliban. I’ll show you every fertile inch on the asteroid: and I will kiss your feet:
I pray you be my God!

   Trinculo. By this light, a most perfidious, and drunken Monster, when's God's asleep he'll rob his bottle.

   Caliban. I’ll kiss thy foot, I’ll swear myself thy subject!

   Stephano. Come on then: down and swear.

   Trinculo. I shall laugh my self to death at this puppy-headed Monster:
a most scary Monster: I could find in my heart to beat him.

   Stephano. Come, kiss.

   Trinculo. But that the poor Monster's in drink: An abominable Monster

   Caliban. I'll show you the best Springs: I'll pluck thee berries: I'll fish for thee;
and get thee wood enough. A plague upon the Tyrant that I serve;
I'll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee, thou wondrous man.

   Trinculo. A most ridiculous Monster, to make a wonder of a poor drunkard.

   Caliban. I pray to thee let me bring you where Crabs grow;
and I with my long nails will dig you pig-nuts; show you a space-bird’s nest,
and instruct thee how to snare the nimble marmoset: I'll bring you to clustering
Philberts, and sometimes I'll get thee young camels from the rock: Will you go with me?

  Stephano. I pray to THEE now… lead the way without any more talking.
Trinculo, the Chapter Master, and all our company else being dead, we will inherit here: Here; bear my bottle: Fellow Trinculo; we'll fill him by and by again.

Caliban [Sings drunkenly]. Farewell Master; farewell, farewell

   Trinculo. A howling Monster: a drunken Monster

   Caliban. No more dams I'll make for fish, nor fetch in firing, at requiring,
Nor scrape trenching, nor wash dish, Ban' ban' Cacalyban has a new Master, get a new Man.
Freedome, high-day, high-day freedome, freedome highday, freedome!!!

   Stephano. O brave Monster; lead the way.


Actus Tertius. Scoena Prima. [Act III Scene 1]

[Enter Ferdinand (bearing a log {which everyone loves.}.)]

  Ferdinand. There be some sports that are painfull; and their labor delight in them set off:
Some kinds of baseness are nobly undergone; and most poor matters point to rich ends:
this my mean task would be as heavy to me, as odious, but the Mistress which I serve,
quickens what's dead, and makes my labors, pleasures: O She is ten times more gentle,
then her Father's crabbed; And he's composed of harshness. I must remove some thousands of these logs, and pile them up, upon a sore injunction; my sweet Mistress weeps when she sees me work, and says, such baseness had never like Executor: I forget: But these sweet thoughts, do even refresh my labors, most busy lest, when I do it.

[Enter Miranda and Prospero.]

  Miranda. Alas, now pray you work not so hard:
I would the lightning had burnt up those logs that you are enjoyed to pile:
Pray set it down, and rest you: when this burns I will weep for having wearied you:
my Father is hard at study; pray now rest yourself, he's safe for these three hours.

   Ferdinand. O most dear Mistress, the sun will set before I shall discharge what I must strive to do.

   Miranda. If you'll sit down I’ll bear your logs the while: pray give me that, I’ll carry it to the pile.

   Ferdinand. No precious creature, I had rather crack my sinews, break my back, then you should such dishonor undergo, while I sit lazy by.

   Miranda. It would become me as well as it does you; and I should do it with much more ease: for my good will is to it, and yours is against it.

   Prospero. Poor worm thou art infected, this visitation shows it.

   Miranda. You look weary.

   Ferdinand. No, noble Mistress, it is fresh morning with me when you are by at night:
I do beseech you chiefly, that I might set it in my prayers, what is your name?

  Mir. Miranda, O my Father, I have broke your rules to say so.

   Ferdinand. Admired Miranda, indeed the top of admiration,
Worth what's dearest to the world: full many a Lady I have eyed with best regard,
and many a time the harmony of their tongues, hath into bondage brought my too diligent ear:
for several virtues have I liked several women, never any with so full soul, but some defect in her
did quarrel with the noblest grace she owed, and put it to the foil.
 Ferdinand. But you, O you, So perfect, and so peerless, are created Of every Creatures best.

   Miranda. I do not know one of my sex; no woman’s face remember,
Save from my glass, mine own: Nor have I seen more that I may call men,
then you good friend, and my dear Father: how features are abroad I am skill less of;
but by my modesty (The jewel in my dower)
I would not wish any Companion in the world but you:
Nor can imagination form a shape besides yourself, to like of:
but I prattle something too wildly, and my Fathers precepts I therein do forget.

   Ferdinand. I am, in my condition a Prince (Miranda)
I do think a Chapter Master (I would not so) and would no more endure this wooden slavery, then to suffer the flesh-fly blow my mouth: hear my soul speak.
The very instant that I saw you, did my hearts fly to your service,
there resides to make me slave to it, and for your sake am I this patient log-man.

   Miranda. Do you love me?

  Ferdinand. O heaven; O Earth; O terra, bear witness to this sound,
And crown what I profess with kind event if I speak true:
if hollowly, invert what best is owed to me, to mischief:
I, beyond all limit of what else in the world do love, prize, honor you.

   Mir. I am a fool to weep at what I am glad of.

   Prospero. Faire encounter of two most rare affections:
heavens rain grace on that which breeds between them.

   Ferdinand. Why for weep you?

  Miranda. At my unworthiness, that dare not offer what I desire to give;
and much less take what I shall die to want: But this is trifling,
And all the more it seeks to hide itself, the bigger bulk it shows.
Hence bashful cunning, and prompt me plain and holy innocence.
I am your wife, if you will marry me; If not, I’ll die your maid:
to be your fellow you may deny me, but I’ll be your servant whether you will or no.

   Ferdinand. My Mistress (dearest) And I thus humble ever.

   Miranda. My husband then?

  Ferdinand. I, with a heart as willing as bondage is of freedom: here's my hand.

   Mir. And mine, with my heart in it; and now farewell till half an hour hence.

   Ferdinand. A thousand, thousand.

[Exeunt Miranda and Ferdinand.]

  Prospero. So glad of this as they I cannot be, who are surprised with all;
but my rejoicing at nothing can be more: I;ll to my e-book, for before supper time, I must perform much business appertaining.


Scoena Secunda. [ACT III Scene II]

[Enter Caliban, Stephano, and Trinculo.]

  Stephano. Tell not me, when the butt is out we will drink water, not a drop before;
therefore bear up, and board them Servant Monster, drink to me.

   Trinculo. Servant Monster? The folly of this space, they
say there's but five upon this asteroid; we are three of them,
if the other two be brained like us, the State totters.

   Stephano. Drink servant Monster when I bid thee, thy eyes are almost set in thy head.

   Trinculo. Where should they be set else? He were a brave Monster indeed if they were set in his tail.

   Stephano. My man-Monster hath drowned his tongue in sack:
for my part the void cannot kill me, I flew air I could recover the shore, five and thirty clicks
off and on, by this light thou shall be my Lieutenant Monster, or my Standard.

   Trinculo. Your Lieutenant if you list, he's no standard.

   Stephano. We’ll not run Monsieur Monster.

   Trinculo. Nor go neither: but you'll lie like dogs, and yet say nothing neither.

   Stephano. Mooncalf, speak once in thy life, if thou be a good mooncalf.

   Caliban. How does thy honor? Let me lick thy shoe: I’ll not serve him, he is not valiant.

   Trinculo. Thou liest most ignorant Monster, I am in online law school to be a Constable:
why, thou debauched fish thou, was there ever man a coward, that hath drunk so much
sack as I today? Will you tell a monstrous lie, being but half a fish, and half a Monster?

  Caliban. Lo, how he mocks me, will you let him my space-Lord?

  Trinculo. Space-Lord, quoth he? That a Monster should be such a Natural?

  Caliban. Lo, lo again: bite him to death I beg you.

   Stephano. Trinculo, keep a good tongue in your head: If you prove a mutineer, the next Tree: the poor Monster is my subject, and he shall not suffer indignity.

   Caliban. I thank my noble space-Lord. Wilt thou be pleased to hearken once again to the suite I made to thee?

  Stephano. Mary will I: kneel, and repeat it, I will stand, and so shall Trinculo.

[Enter Ariel “invisible”.]

  Caliban. As I told you before, I am subject to a tyrant, a Sorcerer, that by his cunning hath cheated me of the asteroid.

   Ariel. Thou liest.

   Caliban. Thou liest, thou jesting Monkey thou: I would my valiant master would destroy thee. I do not lie!

   Stephano. Trinculo, if you trouble him any more in his tale, by this hand, I will supplant some of your teeth.

   Trinculo. Why, I said nothing!

   Stephano. Mum then, and no more: proceed.

   Caliban. I say by Sorcery he got this rock from me, he got it.
If thy Greatnesses will revenge it on him, (for I know you dare)
But this thing dare not.

   Stephano. That's most certain.

   Caliban. Thou shalt be space-Lord of it, and I’ll serve you!

   Stephano. How now (brown mooncow) shall this be compassed?
Can you bring me to the party?

  Caliban. Yea, yea my Space-Lord, I’ll yield him who is asleep,
Where thou may knock a nail into his head.

   Ariel. Thou liest, thou canst not.

   Caliban. What a pie eyed Ninnie is this? Thou scurvy patch:
I do beseech thy Greatnesses give him blows, and take his bottle from him:
When that's gone, he shall drink naught but dirt, for I’ll not show him
Where the frozen waters are.

   Stephano. Trinculo, run into no further danger: Interrupt the Monster one word further,
and by this hand, I’ll turn my mercy out of doors, and make a stockfish of you.

   Trinculo. Why, what did I? I did nothing: I’ll go farther off!

   Ste. Did you not say he lied?

 Ariel. Thou liest.

   Stephano. Do I so? Take thou that, as you like this, give me the lie another time.

   Trinculo. I did not give the lie: Out of your wits, and hearing too?
A pox on your bottle, this can sack and drinking doo:
A morning on your Monster, and the devil take your fingers.

   Caliban. Ha, ha, ha. That’s very funny. You.

   Stephano. Now forward with your tale: please stand further off!

   Caliban. Beat him enough: after a little time I’ll beat him too.

   Stephano. Stand farther: Come proceed.

   Caliban. Why, as I told you, it is a custom with him in the afternoon to sleep:
there thou may brain him, Having first seized his e-books:
Or with a log batter his skull, or paunch him with a stake,
Or cut his wezand with thy knife. Remember first to possess his e-Books;
for without them he's but a sod, as I am; nor hath not one cartoon to command:
they all do hate him as rootedly as I. Burn but his e-Books,
He has brave utensils (for so he calls them)
Which when he has a house, he'll deck with all.
And that most deeply to consider, is the beauty of his daughter:
he himself calls her a nonpareil: I never saw a woman but only Sycorax my mom, and she;
But she as fair surpasses Sycorax, as greatest does least.

   Stephano. Is it so brave a lass?

  Caliban. I space-Lord, she will become thy bed, I warrant, and bring thee forth brave brood.

   Stephano. Monster, I will kill this man: his daughter and I will be King and Queen, save our graces: and Trinculo and thyself shall be Viceroys: Do you like the plot Trinculo?

  Trinculo. Excellent gross.

   Stephano. Give me thy hand, I am sorry I beat thee: But while thou live keep a good tongue in your head.

   Caliban. Within this half hour will he be asleep, will you destroy him then?

  Stephano. Sure. On mine honor.

   Ariel. This will I tell my Master.

   Caliban. Thou make me merry: I am full of pleasure, let us be drunk. Will you troll the catch
you taught me but while we are?

  Stephano. At thy request Monster, I will do reason, any reason: Come on Trinculo, let us sing.


Flout 'em, and cout 'em: and skowt 'em, and flout 'em,
Thought is free

   Caliban. That's not the tune.

[Ariel plays the tune on a Tabor and Pipe.]

  Stephano. What is this same?

  Trinculo. This is the tune of our catch, played by the picture of nobody.

   Stephano. If thou be a man, show thy self in thy likeness: If thou be a devil, take it as thou list.

   Trinculo. O forgive me my sins!

   Stephano. He that dies pays all debts: I defy thee; Mercy upon us!

   Caliban. Are you affeard?

  Stephano. No Monster, not I.

   Caliban. Be not afraid, the asteroid is full of noises, sounds, and sweet airs,
that give delight and hurt not: Sometimes a thousand twanging instruments
Will hum around my ears; and sometime voices,
That if I then had waked after long sleep, will make me sleep again, and then in dreaming,
The clouds I thought would open, and show riches ready to drop upon me,
that when I woke I cried to dream again.

   Stephano. This will prove a brave kingdom to me, where I shall have my music for nothing.

   Caliban. When Prospero is destroyed.

   Stephano. That shall be by and by: I remember the story. I read the script.

   Trinculo. The sound is going away, lets follow it, and after do our work.

   Stephano. Lead Monster, we’ll follow: I wish I could see this drummer, he lays it on. Thick.

   Trinculo. Will you come? I’ll follow, Stephano.

Exeunt all.

Scena Tertia. [Scene 3]

Enter Alonso, Sebastion, Indigoonio, Gonzo, Adrian, Francisco,
And whoever. Else. Feels like it.

  Gonzo. By your leave, I can go no further, Sir, My old bones ache:
here's a maze trod indeed through fourth-rights, and Meanders:
by your patience, I needs must rest.

   Alf. Old Lord, I cannot blame you, who, am m self attached with weariness
To the dulling of my spirits: Sit down, and rest:
Even here I will put off my hope, and keep it no longer for my flatterer:
he is dead whom thus we stray to find, and the void mocks
Our frustrate search on rock: well, let him go.

   Indigo. I am right glad, that he's so out of hope:
Do not for one repulse forgo the purpose that you resolved to effect.

   Sebastian. The next advantage will we take thoroughly.

   Indigo. Let it be to night, for now they are oppressed with travel,
They will not, nor cannot use such vigilance as when they are fresh.

[Solemn and strange Music: and Prospero on the top (invisible): Enter severall strange shapes, bringing in a Banket, place it ON a blanket;  and dance about it with gentle actions of salutations, and inviting the space-Dudes,  and company to eat, then they depart.]

  Sebastian. I say t night: no more.

   Alf. What harmony is this? My good friends, hark!

   Gonzo. Marvelous sweet music!

   Alf. Give us kind keepers, heavens: what were these?

  Sebastian. A living hilarity: now I will believe that there are unicorns:
that in Arabia there is one Tree, the Phoenix throne, one Phoenix at this hour reigning there.

   Indigo. I’ll believe both:
And what does else want credit, come to me and I’ll be sworn it is true:
Space travelers never did lie, though fools at home condemn them.

   Gonzo. If in Ultramar I should report this now, would they believe me?
If I should say I saw such asteroid; (For certainly, these are people of the asteroid)
Who though they are of monstrous shape, yet note their manners are more gentle, kind,
then of our human generation you shall find many, no almost any.

   Prospero. Honest space-Lord, Thou hast said well: for some of you there present;
Are worse than devils.

   Alf. I cannot too much muse such shapes, such gesture,
and such sound expressing (Although they want the use of tongue)
a kind of excellent dumb discourse.

   Prospero. Praise in departing!

   Frank. They vanished strangely.

   Sebastian. No matter, since they have left their munchies behind;
for wee have stomachs. Will you please taste of what is here?

  Alf. Not I. No cat!

   Gonzo. Faith Sir, you need not fear:
when we were boys who would believe that there were Mountaineers,
Dew-lapped, like Bulls, whose throats had hanging at them wallets of flesh?
Or that there were such men whose heads stood in their breasts?
Which now we find each putter out of five for one, will bring us good warrant of…

   Alf. Whatever.
I will stand to, and feed, although my last, no matter, since I feel the best is past:
brother: my space-Lord, the Duke, stand to, and do as we.

[Thunder and Lightning. Enter Ariel (like a Harpy) claps her wings upon the table,
and with a magical charm the banquet vanishes.]

  Ariel. You are three men of sin, whom destiny that hath to instrument this lower world,
And what is in it: the never surfeited space, hath caused to belch up you:
and on this asteroid, where man doth not inhabit, you amongst supermen,
Being most unfit to live: I have made you mad; And even with such like valor, men hang,
and die their proper selves: you fools, I and my fellows are ministers of fate,
the Elements of whom your chain and power-swords are tempered,
may as well wound the loud winds, or with Sir Laughs-at-Stabs
Kill the still closing waters, as diminish one down that's in my plumber:
My fellow ministers are like-invulnerable: if you could hurt,
Your chainswords are now too massive for your strengths, and will not be uplifted:
But remember (For that's my business to you)
that you three from Talassar did supplant good Prospero,
 Ariel: [Continued] Exposed unto space (which hath released them) him, and his innocent child:
for which foul deed, The Powers, delaying (not forgetting)
have incensed space time, and elements; yeah!
All the Creatures against your peace: Thee of thy Son, Alf they have bereft;
and do pronounce by me lingering perdition (worse than any death can be at once)
shall step, by step attend you, and your ways, whose wraths to guard you from,
Which here, in this most desolate rock, else falls upon your heads, is nothing but hearts-sorrow,
And a clear life ensuing.

[He vanishes in Thunder: then (to soft Music.) Enter the shapes again, and dance (with mocks and Mohawks) and carrying out the table.]

  Prospero. Bravely the figure of this Harpy, have you performed (my Ariel)
 a grace it had devouring: Of my Instruction, have you nothing bated in what you had to say:
so with good life, and observation strange, my meaner ministers their several kinds have done: my high charms work, and these (mine enemies) are all knit up in their distractions:
they now are in my power; And in these fits, I leave them, while I visit young Ferdinand
(whom they suppose is dead, as disco) And his, and mine loved darling.

   Gonzo. In the name of something holy, Sir, why stand you in this strange stare?

  Alf. Oh, it is monstrous: monstrous: I thought the billows spoke, and told me of it,
The winds did sing it to me: and the Thunder (That deep and dreadful Organ-Pipe)
 Pronounced the name of Prospero: it did base my Trespasses,
Therefore my Son in the warp is bedded; and I'll seek him deeper then ever plummet sounded,
And with him there lie maddened.

[Exit Alf.]

  Sebastian. But one defend at a time, I’ll fight their legions over.

   Indigo. I’ll be thy second!

[Exeunt Sebastian and Indigo.]

  Gonzo. All three of them are desperate:
their great guilt (Like poison given to work a great time after)
Now gins to bite the spirits: I do beseech you (That are of suppler joints)
follow them swiftly, and hinder them from what this ecstasy may now provoke them to.

   Addrian. Follow, I pray you.

[Dudes Exeunt.]

Actus Quartus. Scena Prima. [Act IV Scene 1]

[Enter Prospero, Ferdinand, and Miranda.]

  Prospero. If I have too austerely punished you, Your compensation makes amends,
for I have given you here, a third of my own life, or that for which I live:
who, once again I tender to thy hand: All thy vexations were but my trials of thy love,
and you have strangely stood the test: here, before heaven I ratify this my rich gift:
O Ferdinand, Do not smile at me, that I boast her of,
For you will find she will out-strip all praise and make it halt, behind her.

   Ferdinand. I do believe it against an Oracle.

   Prospero. Then, as my guest, and your own acquisition worthily purchased,
take my daughter: But if you do break her Virgin-knot,
before all sanctimonious ceremonies may with full and holy right, be ministered,
No sweet aspersion shall the heavens let fall to make this contract grow; but bargain hate,
Sour eyed distain, and discord shall bestrew the union of your bed,
with weeds so loathly that you shall hate it both: Therefore take heed,
As Hymens Lamps shall light you.

   Ferdinand. Gross! Man. As I hope for quiet days, faire issue, and long life,
With such love, as it is now the murkiest den, the most opportune place, the strongest suggestion,
Our worse Genius can, shall never melt my honor into lust,
to take away the edge of that days celebration, When I shall think,
or Phoebus Steeds are foundered, Or Night kept chained below!

   Prospero. Fairly spoken; Sit then, and talk with her, she is your own;
What Ariel; my industrious servant Ariel.

[Enter Ariel.]

  Ariel. What would my potent master want? Here I am.

   Prospero. You, and your meaner fellows, your last service did worthily perform:
and I must use you in such another trick:
go bring the rabble (Over whom I give you power)
here, to this place: Incite them to quick motion,
for I must bestow upon the eyes of this young couple some vanity of mine Art:
it is my promise, and they expect it from me

   Ariel. Presently?

  Prospero. I: With a twinkle.

   Ariel. Before you can say come, and go, and breathe twice; and cry, so, so:
Each one tripping on his toe, will be here with mop, and mohawk. Doe you love me Master? No?

  Prospero. Dearly, my delicate Ariel: do not approach till you hear me call.

   Ariel. Well: I concede.

[Exit Ariel.]

  Prospero. Look you be true: doe not give dalliance too much the reign:
the strongest oaths, are straw to the fire with blood: be more abstentious,
Or else good night your vow.

   Ferdinand. I warrant you, Sir, the white cold virgin Snow,
upon my hearts abates the ardor of my liver…

   Prospero. Well. Now come my Ariel, bring a colonoscopy, Rather than want a cartoon;
 appear, and pertly.

[Soft music.]

No tongue: all eyes: be silent.

[Enter Iris.]

  Iris. Ceres, most bounteous Lady,
thy rich Leas Of Wheat, Rye, Barley, Fetches, Oates and Pease;
Thy Turffy Mountains, where live nibbling Sheep, and flat Medes thatched with Stover,
them to keep:
Thy banks with waters, and twilled brims which spongy April, at thy hest decorates;
To make cold Nymphs chaste crowns; and thy bride grooms;
Whose shadow the dismissed Bachelor loves, being lass lorne: thy pole-clipped vineyard,
And thy Sea-barge sterile, and rocky-hard, Where thou thy self do gasp air,
the Queene of the Sky, Whose watery Arch, and messenger, am I.
Bids thee leave these, and with her sovereign grace, here on this grass-plot,
in this very place to come, and sport: here Peacocks fly around:
Approach, rich Ceres, her to entertaine.

[Juno  descends. Enter Ceres.]

  Ceres. Hail, many-colored Messenger, that never does disobey the wife of Jupiter:
Who, with thy saffron wings, upon my flowers diffuses honey drops, refreshing showers,
And with each end of thy blew bow does crown my bosky acres, and my unshrubbed down,
Rich scarp to my proud earth:
Why hath thy Queen Summoned me hither, to this short grassed Greene?

  Iris. A contract of true Love, to celebrate, and some donation freely to estate on the blessed Lovers.

   Ceres. Tell me heavenly Bow, If Venus or her Son, as you do know,
Do now attend the Queen? Since they did plot the means, that little turd, my daughter got,
Her, and her blind Boys scandaled company, I have forsworn.

   Iris. Of her society be not afraid: I met her deity cutting the clouds towards Paphos:
and her Son Dove-drawn with her:
here thought they to have done some wanton charm, upon this Man and Maiden,
Whose vows are, that no bed-right shall be paid till Hymens Torch be lighted:
but in vain, Mars’s hot Minion is returned again, Her waspish headed son, has broke his arrows,
Swears he will shoot no more, but play with Sparrows, and be a Boy right out.

   Ceres. Highest Queen of State, Great Juno comes, I know her by her gate.

  Juno. How does my bounteous sister? Go with me to bless these two, that they may prosperous be, and honored in their issue.

[They sing.]

  Juno. Honor, riches, marriage, blessing,
Long continuance, and increasing,
Hourly joys, be still upon you,
Juno sings her blessings on you.
Earths increase, foodstuff plenty,
Barnes, and Garners, never empty.
Vines, with clustering bunches growing,
Plants, with goodly burthen bowing:
Spring come to you at the farthest,
In the very end of Harvest.
Scarcity and want shall shun you,
Ceres blessing so is on you

   Ferdinand. This is a most majestic vision, and harmonious charmingly:
may I be bold to think these cartoons?

  Prospero. Cartoons, which by mine Art I have from their confines called to enact
My present fancies.

   Ferdinand. Let me live here ever, so rare a wondered Father,
and wise ,Makes this place Paradise.

   Prospero. Sweet now, silence: Juno and Ceres whisper seriously,
There's something else to do: hush, and be mute or else our spell is marred.

[Juno and Ceres whisper, and send Iris on employment.]

  Iris. You Nymphs called Nayades of your winding brooks,
With your fancy crowns, and ever-harmless looks,
Leave your crisp channels, and on this green-Land
Answer your summons, Juno does command.
Come temperate Nymphs, and help to celebrate a Contract of true Love:
be not too late.

[Enter some Nymphs.]

You Sun-burned Sickle men of August weary,
Come away here from the furrow, and be merry,
Make holly day: your Rye-straw hats put on,
And these fresh Nymphs encounter every one in Country footing.

[Enter some Reapers (properly habited:) they join with the Nymphs, in a graceful dance, towards the end whereof, Prospero starts suddenly and speaks, after which to a strange hollow and confused noise, they quickly vanish.]

  Prospero. I had forgot that foul conspiracy of the beast Caliban,
and his confederates against my life: the minute of their plot is almost come:
Well done, avoid: no more

   Ferdinand. This is strange: your fathers in some passion that worries him strongly.

   Miranda. Never till this day saw I him touched with anger, so distempered.

   Prospero. You do look (my son) in a muddled sort, As if you were dismayed:
be cheereful Sir,uur revels now are ended: These our actors, (As I foretold you)
were all cartoons, and are melted into air, into thin air,
And like the baseless fabric of this vision the Cloud-capped Towers,
the gorgeous Palaces, The solemn Temples, the great Globe itself,
Yes, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, and like this insubstantial pageant faded
Leave not a rack behind: we are such stuff as dreams are made on;
and our little life is rounded with a sleep: Sir, I am vexed, bear with my weaknesses,
my old brain is troubled: Be not disturbed with my infirmities,
If you be pleased, retire into my space-Cell, and there repose, a turn or two,
I’ll sleep to still my beating mind.

   Ferdinand and Miranda. We wish your peace.

[Exit Ferdinand and Miranda.]

  Prospero. Come with a thought; I thank thee Ariel: come.

[Enter Ariel.]

  Ariel. Your thoughts I cleave to, what's thy pleasure?

  Prospero. Cartoon: We must prepare to meet with Caliban.

   Ariel. Sure, my Commander, when I presented Ceres I thought to have told thee of it,
but I feared I might anger you.

   Prospero. Say again, where did you leave these harlots?

  Ariel. I told you Sir, they were red-hot with drinking, So full of valor,
that they smote the air for breathing in their faces:  beat the ground for kissing of their feet;
yet always bending towards their project: then I beat my tamborine,
At which like untrained colts they pricked their ears, Advanced their eye-lids,
lifted up their noses as they smelt music, so I charmed their ears That Calf-like,
they my playing followed, through toothed briars, sharp nettles, pricking grass, and thorns,
Which entered their frail shins:  at last I left them in the filthy mantled pool beyond your space-Cell, There dancing up to the chins, that the fowl Lake over stunk their feet.

   Prospero. This was well done (my bird) your invisible shape retain:
The trumpery in my house, go bring it hither for stale to catch these thieves.

   Ariel. I go, I go.

[Exit Ariel.]

  Prospero. A devil, a borne-devil, on whose nature nurture can never stick:
on whom my pains humanely taken, all, all lost, quite lost, and, as with age,
his body uglier grows, so his mind cankers: I will plague them all,
Even to roaring: Come, hang on them this line.

[Enter Ariel, laden with glistering apparel. Enter Caliban, Stephano, and Trinculo, all wet.]

  Caliban. Pray you tread softly, that the blind mole may not hear a foot fall:
we now are near his space-Cell.

   Stephano. Monster, your Fairy, which you say is a harmless Fairy, has done little better than played the jack with us.

   Trinculo. Monster, I do smell all horse-piss, at which my nose is in great indignation.

   Stephano. So is mine. Do you hear Monster:
If I should take a displeasure against you: Look you!

   Trinculo. Thou wert but a lost Monster.

   Caliban. Good my space-Lord, give me your favor still, be patient,
for the prize I’ll bring you too shall hoodwink this mischance:
therefore speak softly, all's hushed as midnight yet.

   Trinculo. Sure, but to lose our bottles in the Pool!

   Stephano. There is not only disgrace and dishonor in that Monster, but an infinite loss.

   Trinculo. That's more to me then my wetting: Yet this is your harmless Fairy, Monster.

   Stephano. I will fetch off my bottle, though I be over my ears for my labor.

   Caliban. Please (my space-King) be quiet. See you here this is the mouth of the space-Cell:
no noise, and enter: Do that good mischief, which may make this asteroid your own forever,
and I Caliban for your foot-licker.

   Stephano. Give me your hand, I do begin to have bloody thoughts.

   Trinculo. O Space-King Stephano, O peer: O worthy Stephano,
Look here at what a wardrobe for you!

   Caliban. Let it alone you fool, it is but trash.

   Trinculo. Oh, ho, Monster: we know what belongs to a frippery, O Space-King Stephano.

   Stephano. Put off that gown (Trinculo) by this hand I’ll have that gown!

   Trinculo. Thy grace shall have it.

   Caliban. The dropsy drown this fool, what do you mean to dote thus on such luggage?
Let it alone and do the murder first:
if he awakes, from toe to crown he'll fill our skins with pinches,
Make us strange stuff… stranger…

   Stephano. Be you quiet (Monster) Mistress line, is not this my jerkin?
How is the jerkin under the line: now jerkin you are like to lose your hair,
And  prove a bald jerkin…

   Trinculo. Do, do; we steal by line and level, and it likes your grace.

   Stephano. I thank you for that jest; here’s a garment for it:
Wit shall not go unrewarded while I am space-King of this Country:
Steal by line and level, is an excellent pass of pate: there's another garment for it.

   Trinculo. Monster, come put some lime upon your fingers, and away with the rest.

   Caliban. I will have none on it: we shall loose our time, and all be turned to Barnacles,
or to apes with foreheads villainous low.

   Stephano. Monster, lay to your fingers: help to bear this away, where my hogshead of wine is, or I’ll turn you out of my kingdom: go to, carry this.

   Trinculo. And this

   Stephano. Yes, and this.

[A noise of Hunters heard. Enter cartoons in shape of Dogs and Hounds, hunting them about: Prospero and Ariel setting them on.]

  Prospero. Hey Mountain, hey!

   Ariel. Silver: there it goes, Silver! Hi HO!

   Prospero. Fury, Fury: there Tyrant, there: hark, hark.
Go, charge my Goblins that they grind their joints with dry convulsions,
shorten up their sinews with aged cramps, and more pinch-spotted make them,
then fart, or Cat of Mountain.

   Ariel. Hark, they roar!

   Prospero. Let them be hunted soundly: At this hour lies at my mercy all mine enemies:
Shortly shall all my labors end, and you shall have the air at freedom:
for a little more follow, and do me service.

[Exit all]

Actus quintus: Scoena Prima. [Act V Scene I]

[Enter Prospero (in his Magic robes) and Ariel.]

  Prospero. Now does my project gather to a head: My charms crack not:
my Spirits obey, and time goes upright with his carriage: how's the day?

  Ariel. On the six hovers, at which time, my Lord you said our work should cease.

   Prospero. I did say so, when first I raised the Space Tempest:
say my cartoon, how fares the Chapter Master, and his followers?

  Ariel. Confined together in the same fashion, as you gave in charge,
Just as you left them; all prisoners sir in the Lime-grove which weather-fends your Cell,
They cannot budge till your release: The Chapter Master, his Brother, and yours, abide all three distracted, and the remainder mourning over them, brim full of sorrow, and dismay:
but chiefly him that you termed Sir, the good old Muppet Lord Gonzo,
His tears runs down his fur like winters drops from eaves of reeds: your charm so strongly works them that if you now beheld them, your affections would become tender.

   Prospero. Do you think so, Cartoon?

  Ariel. Mine would, Sir, were I human.

   Prospero. And mine shall. Have you (which art but air) a touch,
a feeling of their afflictions, and shall not myself, One of their kind,
that relish all as sharply, Passion as they, be kindlier moved than thou art?
Though with their high wrongs I am struck to the quick, Yet, with my nobler reason,
against my fury do I take part: the rarer Action is In virtue, then in vengeance:
they, being penitent, the sole drift of my purpose doth extend not a frown further:
Go, release them Ariel, my Charms I’ll break, their senses I’ll restore, and they shall be themselves.

   Ariel. I’ll fetch them, Sir.

[Exit Ariel]

  Prospero. You Elves of hills, brooks, standing lakes and groves, and you,
that on the sands with print-less foot do chase the ebbing Neptune,
and do fly him when he comes back: you demi-Puppets, muppets,
that by Moonshine do the green sour ringlets make,
Whereof the Ewe not bites: and you, whose pastime is to make midnight-Mushroom’s,
that rejoice to hear the solemn Curfew, by whose aide (Weak Masters though ye be)
I have bedimmed the Noon-tide Sun, called forth the mutinous winds,
And twixt the black void, and the azure vault set roaring war:
 Prospero. [Continued] To the dread rattling Thunder have I given fire, and rifted Joves stout Oak
With his own Bolt: The strong based promontories have I made shake,
and by the spurs plucked up the Pine, and Cedar.
Graves at my command have waked their sleepers, opened,
and let them forth by my so potent Art. But this rough Magic I here abjure:
and when I have required some heavenly Music (which even now I do)
To work mine end upon their senses, that this Air-charm is for,
I'll break my staff, bury it certain fathoms in the rock,
and deeper then did ever plummet sound I’ll drown my book.

[Solemn music.]

[Ariel enters before: Then Alf with a frantic gesture, attended by Gonzo. Sebastian and Indigoonio in like manner attended by Adrian and Francisco: They all enter the circle which Prospero had made, and there stand charmed: which Prospero observing, speaks.]

 Prospero. A solemn air, and the best comforter, To an unsettled fancy,
Cure thy brains (Now useless) boil within thy skull:
there stand for you are Spell-stopped.
Holy Gonzo, Honorable muppet,
My eyes even sociable to the show of your fall fellowly drop:
The charm dissolves apace, and as the morning steals upon the night (Melting the darkness)
 so their rising senses begin to chase the ignorant fumes that mantle their clearer reason.
O good Gonzo my true preserver, and a loyal Sir, to him you follow;
I will pay thy graces home both in word, and deed:
Most cruelly did thou Alf, use me, and my daughter: Your brother was a furtherer in the Act,
You are pinched for it now Sebastian. Indigo. Flesh, and blood, you, brother mine,
that entertained ambition, expelled remorse, and nature, whom,
with Sebastian, (Whose inward pinches therefore are most strong)
Would here have killed your Chapter Master: I do forgive you, Unnatural though you are:
Their understanding begins to swell, and the approaching tide will shortly fill the reasonable field that now lay foul, and muddy: not one of them that yet looks on me, or would know me: Ariel, Fetch me the helmet, and chainsword in my space-Cell, I will disguise me, and myself present as I was sometime Tallassar: quickly cartoon, you shall soon be free.

[Ariel sings, and helps to attire him.]

Ariel.  Where the Bee sucks, there suck I,
In a Cowslips bell, I lie,
There I couch when Owls do cry,
On the Bats back I do fly
after Summer merrily.
Merrily, merrily, shall I live now,
Under the blossom that hangs on the Bow

   Prospero. Why that's my dainty Ariel: I shall miss you, but yet you shall have freedom:
so, so, so, to the Chapter Master’s ship, invisible as you are, there shall thou find the Space Mariners asleep under the hatches: the Space-Master and the Battle-Barge –swaine being awake, enforce them to this place; And presently, pretty please!

   Ariel. I drink the air before me, and return before your pulse twice beats.

[Exit Ariel.]

  Gonzo. All torment, trouble, wonder, and amazement inhabits here:
some heavenly power guide us out of this fearful place.

   Prospero. Behold Sir Chapter Master the wronged Duke of Tallassar, Prospero:
For more assurance that a living Prince does now speak to you, I embrace your body,
And to you, and your Company, I bid a hearty welcome.

   Alf. Whether you be he or not, or some enchanted trifle to abuse me,
(As late I have been) I not know: your pulse beats as of flesh, and blood:
and since I saw you, the affliction of my mind amends,
with which I fear a madness held me: this must crave (And if this be at all)
 a most strange story. Thy Dukedome I resign, and do entreat you pardon me my wrongs:
But how should Prospero be living, and be here?

  Prospero. First, noble Friend, let me embrace your age,
whose honor cannot be measured, or confined.

   Gonzo. Whether this be, or be not, I'll not swear.

   Prospero. You do yet taste some subtleties of the asteroid, that will not let you
Believe things certain: Welcome, my friends all,
But you, my brace of space-Lords, were I so minded I here could pluck his Highnesses frown upon you and justify you Traitors: at this time I will tell no tales.

   Sebastian. The devil speaks in him:

  Prospero. No: For you (most wicked Sir)
whom to call brother would even infect my mouth,
I do forgive thy rankest fault; all of them: and require my Dukedome of thee, which,
perforce I know you must restore!

   Alf. If thou are Prospero give us particulars of thy preservation,
How thou hast met us heee, whom three hours since were wrecked upon this field?
Where I have lost (How sharp the point of this remembrance is) my dear son Ferdinand.

   Prospero. I am woe for it, Sir.

   Alf. Irreparable is the loss, and patience says, it is past her cure.

   Prospero. I rather think you have not sought her help,
of whose soft grace for the like loss, I have her sovereign aid, and rest myself content.

   Alf. You the like lose?

  Prospero. As great to me, as late, and supportable to make the dear loss,
have I means much weaker than you may call to comfort you;
for I have lost my daughter.

   Alf. A daughter? Oh heavens, that they were living both in Ultramar
The Chapter Master and Battle Mother there, that they were,
I wish myself were mudded in that blackened bed where my son lies:
when did you lose your daughter?

  Prospero. In this last Space Tempest.  I perceived these space-Lords at this encounter do so much admire, That they divorce their reason, and scarce think their eyes do offices of Truth:
Their words are natural breath: but how so ever you have been jostled from your senses,
know for certain that I am Prospero, and that very Duke which was thrust forth of Tallassar,
who most strangely upon this field (where you were wrecked)
was landed to be the space-Lord on it: No more yet of this, for it is a Chronicle of day by day,
Not a relation for a break-fast, nor befitting this first meeting:
Welcome, Sir; This space-Cell's my Court: here have I few attendants,
And Subjects none abroad: pray you look in: My Space-Dukedome you have given me again, I will requite you with as good a thing, at least bring forth a wonder, to content you as much, as me my Dukedome!

[Here Prospero discovers Ferdinand and Miranda, playing Chess.]

  Miranda. Sweet space-Lord, you play me false!

   Ferdinand. No my dearest love, I would not for the world.

   Miranda. Yes, for a score of worlds, you should wrangle, and I would call it faire play.

   Alf. If this prove a vision of the asteroid, one dear son shall I twice loose.

   Sebastian. A most high miracle.

   Ferdinand. Though the voids threaten they are merciful, I have cursed them without cause.

   Alf. Now all the blessings of a glad father, compass you about:
Arise, and say how you came here!

   Miranda. O wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here?
How beauteous mankind is!? O brave new world that has such people in it!

   Prospero. It is new to you.

   Alf. What is this Maid, with whom thou was at play?
Your eldest acquaintance cannot be three hours: Is she the goddess that hath served us,
And brought us thus together?

  Ferdinand. Sir, she is mortal; But by immortal providence, she's mine;
I chose her when I could not ask my Father for his advise: nor thought I had one:
She is daughter to this famous Space-Duke of Tallassar,
Of whom, so often I have heard renown, but never saw before:
of whom I have received a second life; and second father this lady makes him to me.

   Alf. I am hers. But O, how oddly will it sound, that I must ask my childe forgiveness?

  Prospero. There sir stop, let us not burthen our remembrances, with a heaviness that's gone.

   Gonzo. I have inwardly wept, or should have spoke ere this:
look down you Gods and on this couple drop a blessed crown; for it is you,
that have chalked forth the way which brought us here.

   Alf. I say Amen, Gonzo.

   Gonzo. Was Tallassar thrust from Tallassar, that his issue should become Kings of Ultramar? O rejoice beyond a common joy, and set it down with gold on lasting Pillars:
In one voyage did Claribell her husband find at Tunisiatron, and Ferdinand her brother,
found a wife, where he himself was lost: Prospero, his space-Dukedome on a poor rock:
and all of us, our selves, when no man was his own.

   Alf. Give me your hands: Let grief and sorrow still embrace his heart, that doth not wish you joy.

   Gonzo. Be it so, Amen.

[Enter Ariel, with the Space-Master and Battle-Bargeswaine amazedly following.]

 Ariel. O look Sir, look Sir, here is more of us:
I prophesied, if a Gallows were on Land this fellow could not die:
Now blasphemy, that throws Grace overboard, not an oath on shore,
Have you no mouth by land? What is the news?

  BBSwaine. The best news is, that we have safely found our Chapter Master, and company:
The next: our space-Ship, which but three glasses since, we gave out split,
Is tight, and cool, and bravely rigged, as when we first put out to space.

   Ariel. Sir, all this service have I done since I went.

   Prospero. My trickster cartoon.

   Alf. These are not natural events, they strengthen from strange, to stranger: say, how came you here?

  BBSwaine. If I did think, sir, I were well awake, I would strive to tell you:
we were dead of sleep, and (how we know not) all clapped under hatches,
Where, but even now, with strange, and several noises of roaring, shrieking, howling,
jingling chains, and more diversity of sounds, all horrible.
We were awaked: straight away, at liberty; Where we, in all our trim,
freshly beheld our royal, good, and gallant space-Ship: our space-Master tending to eye her:
in a trance, so please you, even in a dream, were we divided from them,
And were brought moping here.

   Ariel. Was it well done?

   Prospero. Bravely (my diligence) you shall be free.

   Alf. This is as strange a Maze, as ever men trod, and there is in this business,
more than nature was ever conduct of: some Oracle must rectify our knowledge.

   Prospero. Sir, my Liege, do not infest your mind,
with beating on the strangeness of this business, at picked leisure (Which shall be shortly single) I'll resolve you, (Which to you shall seem probable) of every one of these happened accidents: till when, be cheerful and think of each thing well: Come hither cartoon, set Caliban,
and his companions free: Untie the Spell: How fares my gracious Sir?
There are yet missing of your Company, some few odd lads, that you remember not.

[Enter Ariel, driving in Caliban, Stephano, and Trinculo in their stolen Apparel.]

  Stephano. Every man shift for all the rest, and let no man take care for himself;
for all is but fortune: Coragio Bully-Monster Coragio.

   Trinculo. If these be true spies which I wear in my head, here's a goodly sight.

   Caliban. O Setebos, these be brave Spirits indeed:
How fine my Master is? I am afraid he will chastise me.

   Sebastian. Ha, ha: What things are these, my Lord Indigoonio?
Will money buy them?

  Indigo. Very like: one of them is a plain Fish, and no doubt marketable.

   Prospero. Mark but the badges of these men, my space-Lords,Then say if they be true:
This misshapen knave; His Mother was a Witch, and one so strong that could control the Moon; make flows, and ebbs, and deal in her command, without her power:
These three have robbed me, and this demi-devil; (For he's a bastard one)
had plotted with them to take my life: two of these Fellowes, you must know, and own,
this thing of darkness, I acknowledge mine.

   Caliban. I shall be pinched to death.

   Alf. Is not this Stephano, my drunken Butler?

  Sebastian. He is drunk now; Where’d he get wine?

  Alf. And Trinculo is reeling ripe: where should they find this grand Liquor that hath gilded them? How got you into this pickle?

  Trinculo. I have been in such a pickle since I saw you last,
that I fear me will never out of my bones: I shall not fear fly-blowing.

   Sebastian. Why how now (mooncow) Stephano?

   Stephano. O touch me not, I am not Stephano, but a Cramp!

   Prospero. You'll be space-King of the asteroid, dudeface?

  Stephano. I should have been a sore one then…

   Alf. This is a strange thing as ever I looked on. And I’ve seen some weird shit.

   Prospero. He is as disproportioned in his Manners as in his shape:
Go dudeface, to my space-Cell, take with you your Companions:
as you look to have my pardon, clean it handsomely.

   Caliban. I that I will: and I’ll be wise hereafter, and seek for grace:
what a thrice double Ass was I to take this drunkard for a God?
And worship this dull fool?

  Prospero. Go away.

   Alf. Hence, and bestow your luggage where you found it.

   Sebastian. Or stole it, rather.

   Prospero. Zing! Sir, I invite your Highness, and your train to my poor space-Cell:
where you shall take your rest for this one night, which part of it,
I’ll waste with such discourse, as I not doubt, shall make it go quick away:
The story of my life, and the particular accidents, gone by since I came to this rock:
And in the morning I’ll bring you to your space-ship, and so to Ultramar,
where I have hope to see the nuptial of these our dear beloved, solemnized,
and thence retire me to my Tallassar, where every third thought shall be my grave.

   Alf. I long to hear the story of your life; which must take the ear strangely.

   Prospero. I'll deliver all, and promise you calm space, auspicious gales,
And solar-sail, so expeditious, that shall catch your Royall fleet far off:
My Ariel; chick that is your charge:
Then to the Elements be free, and fare you well: please you draw near.

[Exit all.]


Prospero. Now my Charms are all over thrown, and what strength I have's my own.
Which is most faint: now it is true I must be here confined by you,
Or sent to Ultramar, let me not since I have my space-Dukedome got,
And pardoned the deceiver, dwell on this bare asteroid, by your Spell,
But release me from my bands with the help of your good hands:
Gentle breath of yours, my solar-sails must fill, or else my project fails,
Which was to please: Now I want spirits to enforce: Art to enchant,
And my ending is despair, unless I be relieved by prayer which pierces so,
that it assaults mercy itself, and frees all faults as you from crimes would pardoned be,
Let your indulgence set me free.




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