The Celebrity; Pantheon

Your average celebrity is a God. We are the peons that provide them their wealth and status. They are a vile consortium of faceless former-humans who desire only the next cover or film. They are no better or worse a person than you or I. They fuck, poop, eat, breathe and palpate as you or I. They are nothing more than humanity distilled through the filters of attention into the new opiate of the people.

We don't want to know what is going on in Africa. Africa can fuck itself for all we care. AIDS? Genocide? What does that mean to Justin Timberlake? How does that effect Fergies numbers? How is TRL influenced by the unjust slaughter of thousands? Does this stop my service? Is the eradication of the Ugandan people going to influence cell reception in my area? I desperately hope not.

The Celebrity. Paragon among humanity. What did they do to deserve such honors? Acting, singing, dancing. They are the puppetry to our desperate populace. Thank God for the Celebrity. Thank God for his wisdom in raising a certain fraction of our people above us to show what it is to live the dream. To own three houses, be transported by private jet, to eat gold-dipped tiger heart ringed with pineapple and basil. What would we have to aspire to should we be ignorant of their excesses?

While those in our world struggle for rent, food, medical coverage, gas money, and other [unimportant] expenses the celebrity dances on. Distracts us from the miserable nature of the planet and the terrible injustice. God bless CBS, ABC, NBC, FOX, CNN, and other abbreviated organizations that provide us with a means of coping. Provide us with a distraction from the horrible injustice of nature and humanity.

They are but a vehicle for those we so desperately love; The Celebrity. The gladiators of our modern day coliseum. The headstrong performers who willingly and unquestioningly stride, brave and proud, into and unto the sound stage and set, and for what? Certainly not the millions of American dollars that await them. Certainly not for the unquestioning adoration of fan and minion. The Celebrity acts as an Apostle to the New World.

The Celebrity acts not because they want to, but because they must. The world must know the truth of plucky romantic comedy. The World must see robots attacking one another in order to relate [on a human level] to the struggles of the planet as a whole. The World does not need food, fresh water, or shelter nearly as much as it requires Brad Pitt in the next Ocean's 11 Movie [Ocean's 13 in case you have not heard].

Brad Pitt is the last hope of humanity. His example of bravery and might in the face of incredibly long shooting schedules and personal difficulties [dealing with his hot wife and where to summer] are [or should be] the pinnacle of human achievement and the struggle to which all humanity can ascribe. Brad Pitt, the vast and hungry fields of humanity await your next blockbuster with hope and wonder. When will you play the plucky genius that will save us from our ignorance and violence?

The Celebrity does not let the populace know it's goals. We are unworthy of their sage knowledge. Those who have inhabited the Pantheon need not explain their devices or machinations. They are above us and beyond us. They are the hope to which we strive and the dream that arrives as we slumber. They are the Ultimate Human. Celebrity; to become is to arrive.

The Celebrity is a Pig. A God-Pig to whom we dole our attention and affection. Thespians gone wrong. So infinitely above the dish-washing, floor-cleaning, tax-paying human that we consider them more akin to super-human than what they truly are; humanity become complete assholes.

Life is meat and bone and fucking and killing. Life is farming and breeding and struggling to make life tolerable. For the masses life is not about jets and travel and power, it is about health and expense and survival. There is a threshold where fame becomes riches. Riches become ignorance. Ignorance becomes soulessness. To that end I am going to kick Justin Timberlake's ass.


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