Digging for Gold in the "Crazy" Folder.

Dearest Christian,

The key to writing such a letter is to convince the reader that what follows is not the simple and unpleasant insane ramblings of some lunatic radical who craps in an ice cream pail because he’s convinced the government monitors bowel movements via the sewer system. Let me begin by saying then, that there are several members of my city council, the mayor, at least one state representative, and several other department heads, store managers, and other varied business leaders and muckity mucks that would gladly attest, if not to my sanity, then at least to my competence, passion, and vision.
I have a vast and powerful array of dreams that if followed through to their final stages would result in a happier, safer, sustained planet. Dreams that will only be dreams as long as myself and the world at large is willing to suppress them. I will admit that some dreams are more farfetched than others. I have visions that touch on the biological, metaphysical, industrial, artistic, and political. I believe that mass transit would work much better if people were conveyed by dirigibles. I think that wind and tidal power is an eventuality we cannot wait for despite fossil fuels lazy mans appeal. I think that war is an obsolete and silly concept that must be done away with.
There are ideas that are unpleasant and frightening when first surveyed. People in tubes. Men with swords. There’s a point where my sense of equality borders on the insane. Powerful people who see my ideas want to kill me. Incompetent people want to scorn me. But the vast majority is balls-deep into the idea of everyone getting along swimmingly. The idea that we can stop polluting, killing and desensitizing without a complete loss of personal well being. The future is now, and I long to embrace it.
But what I want to talk about most is my army. 1,000 Paladins. A force assembled from the most devout and committed of Christian men. They are warrior monks whose most important commandment is never to kill. Their sole mission is to save non-combatants in war torn areas of the globe and provide food and medicine to the children who so desperately need it. They wield the righteous sword of Law that refuses to slay, and the shield of Truth which protect those without defenses.
Their armor is impervious. Inter-Cooled Micro-Honeycombed Kevlar Body Armor. An inner neoprene/kevlar uni-suit with a kinetically powered heating/cooling system designed to preserve, conserve, defend and protect. All designed and built in a mind wracked with thought and desperate for a salvation no one else seems to be doling out. A Paladin stands defended by both the science of our age, and the Holy Might of Jesus.
Their only mission is salvation, and their code is that of the reluctant combatant. Finance my vision. Allow me to build my army. Christian. American. Righteous. I will train and lead them unto the most hellish of conditions for the sake of what is right and good. I require a training ground, means to recruit my men, and the armor with which to sheath them. Help me.


Jeremiah Liend


Duke said…
…man you really wanted to crank it out in the wee hours of the twentieth of a 2009 February.

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