An Open Note To Teabaggers.
First off, “tea bagging” is hitting something with your balls. I don’t know if you were aware of this when you brought your rough hewn signs all across the US of A to complain about taxes. Well let me just say this; fuck you. Fuck you hard. I often get asked why I resort to crude language when I have a vast lexicon? It is there. Waiting to tear apart anyone foolish enough to challenge my command of the language. But I just want to start with “Fuck You” and then we’ll work our way backwards.
You see, I paid into taxes this year. I make less than half of the poverty line. People on the poverty line make twice as much as me. Dig that. And I ended up paying the government $11 to be poor. So if anyone has the right to put marker to tag board and shout at traffic it’s me. Because that $11 means a lot more to me than the thousands of dollars you all feel was unjustly taken from your pockets. “Taxation Without Representation” my ass.
Because for the last eight years my money was taken in taxes and spent killing people. Bad guys maybe, but Iraqi civilians for sure. I am a pacifist by nature, and the money that the government took from me went to killing people. People I don’t have a problem with. People we should be helping. You see THAT is taxation without representation. That is someone taking money from me to violate my morality. To act in contradiction to my God.
$11 to try and get us back on track to being the best nation in the world? I’ll pay that. I’ll shoulder the burden of taxes even though I am positive that rich bastards all around me are writing off yachts as second homes and horses as business expenses. Because I believe that we are at a turning point. I believe that ingenuity and creativity are our greatest weapons. I believe that we are in a reckoning. A time when the oligarchy is being cast down. A shift in priority and commitment.
You want a revolution? You want to talk about our forefathers and their insurrectionist activity? How about we talk about tea bagging the constitution by giving the government the ability to search my home without a warrant? To tap my phone lines justified and indemnified with nothing more than a mandate to protect me? How about the fact that the same ignorant tools who think they deserve something have been shitting on the document that is supposed to guide us into the next century? Those who pay closest attention to the second amendment even now rush their local Wal-Marts for ammunition. Maybe if they had been paying attention to the rest of the document for the last decade we would be out of bullets by now.
So fuck you. Fuck you hard. Your misguided insurrection is a testament to your ignorance and obstinacy. You want to secede? You want to start a civil war? You want to put some of those bullets into those liberal commies who are coming after your money to pay for abortions and gay marriage? Try it. Because while you’ve been sleeping I’ve been waiting. While you’ve been bitching I’ve been acting. And when the hammer drops you’re going to find yourself on the wrong side of a massacre.
Where’d all your readers go?