Q and Armageddon

Agent Q had lived a long and weird life by the time he found himself at the head of a 1,000 swordperson army on the hill of Megiddo (known to the Greeks as Armageddon) facing a 1,000 swordman army whose primary members were Hamas, but also included a wide variety of extremist organizations under the umbrella of jihad. Q didn't want to equate what was happening to a religious war (his force included people of all faiths and a large portion of atheists) but the location wasn't helping to sell that argument. Before the battle was to commence, the leaders met in the middle of the field to finalize terms and shake hands. Q's high command included MMA fighter Jon "Bones" Jones, acclaimed country music star Willie Nelson, and Secretary of Defense Anthony Blinken (coked out of his gourd on medical grade chiba). The jihadi command was led by Ayatollah Khomeini, Bashar al-Assad, and Steven Segal. The group nodded politely to one another and salaams were given in abundance. Each man in turn said a word of encouragement and a call to arms as the forces behind them roared their approval.

Then, a man in the back said "fuck it" and the roar of battle began.


Q felt like he was living out the plot to a bad action movie as he charged down the hill. There were moments when the entire battlefield felt like it was moving in slow motion, like he was the only man in the world who was not a prop. Everyone around him was a background dancer to his life. 

But the slow motion wasn't due to some divine power, it was due to Q's tactical use of drugs. By using a cocktail of ketamine and ecstasy, he was able to maintain consciousness while under the effects of other drugs like heroin, fentanyl, methamphetamine, and alcohol. When you add to that the constant rush of adrenaline and combat hormones, the result is a weird mixture of a super lucid and super relaxed body, while also having a brain that feels like it is being overclocked to 1,000% by the drugs in his system.

The slow motion allowed Q to calmly take out the majority of the enemy in front of him. With his sword, he stabbed out the eyes of a man in his mid-twenties with the face of a man in his forties, causing the man to scream and tumble down the hill. His next move was to flip a man from the side, then take a man's head clean off with a swipe as he landed on his feet. With his fists, he took the swords from three men, used the swords to run the men through, then used his hands to break their necks as he kicked them off the swords.

As he fought his way through the front line, he became more and more impressed by his tactical moves, even if the men on the ground wouldn't. Q used to love watching his old fights on the VHS tapes he had amassed over his 600 years on earth, but ever since the rise of the Internet and the ubiquity of digital cameras, Q had started to see himself as more of a joke than a warrior. The problem wasn't just the video of his fights though, it was what came after them. Every YouTube video of Q fighting ended with a link to a website called "PeopleWhoWantQToComeBack.org" and people seemed all too eager to sign it. Q was a little bit more humble than other people of his stature, so he always chalked it up to people trying to give him advice, but as the videos and websites got more and more popular, he was getting more and more worried that people didn't want him back, but that they just wanted him dead.

That is why Q never killed anyone. It wasn't because he was a pacifist or trying to show off, but it was because he wanted to get better. He wanted to fight people who were better than him. He wanted to fight someone who could beat him. He just wanted to find someone to push him to the next level. If someone could kill him, he would have killed them immediately and then learned from them afterwards. But it seemed like a fight to the death was the only thing people were after.

The thought of death was an interesting one to him. The concept of death was just another mystery he didn't have the answers to. In his 600 years on earth, he had seen people come and go. He'd seen empires rise and fall. He'd seen countless inventions and countless wars and countless advancements. 

Yet somehow, life was still full of mystery. How could that be?

But what he didn't think of was that people didn't stop dying after the first 600 years. It didn't matter if it was 600 years ago or 600 years from now, no one knew.

And that was what bothered Q the most.

Suddenly, one of the last guards from the hill's top came flying down at him. Q quickly got under him as he passed over him and stabbed him in the throat before he could flip around to land properly. He fell to the ground dead before anyone could see it. Q caught the man's sword in his hand, but before he could even think of what to do with it, two men from the hill came down on either side of him.

One of the men was from the U.S., the other from the U.K.

"Yo, man! You're a spy?!" The first man said, almost as an accusation.

"Did you hear that, this dude is a spy! What the fuck?!" The other man said, more of a statement than a question.

Q was about to respond when the two men charged at him. Q knew these types of people. They had no actual training but thought themselves to be the experts of battle. It was so infuriating.

He had a few ideas for how to handle it, but decided it was in his best interest to simply block the attack. The two men came down on him with their swords held high, but Q was able to knock them off track.

As he did so, the U.S. man hit Q on the head with the hilt of his sword. Q didn't even feel it, but that still made him angry. He knew he was in a war and that he couldn't just start killing everyone right away, but this was too much. 

As he came at the man, he swung his sword with his left hand and kicked the man in the face with his right foot. He hit the man so hard that it threw him back at the man from the U.K. 

The U.K. man tried to hit Q with a backhand to the head but Q stepped into the attack and elbowed the man in the stomach before spinning and hitting the U.K. man in the back of the head with his sword hilt. 

The two men went down in a heap, and Q could have finished them off, but instead he saw the perfect opportunity to get away from the battle and went for it.

He took a few people out as he went, running down the hill at full speed. The last man he hit went tumbling down the hill like a tumbleweed.

The rest of the army was a mess. A lot of the men who had originally been at the top of the hill had taken some serious casualties. A few were even laying dead on the ground. The army had been broken into three sides now. The side of Q, the side of Ayatollah Khomeini, and the side of Bashar al-Assad. 

Q saw that he would have to climb over some rocks to make it down to the next layer of men, so he jumped and rolled over the top of them. Once he landed on the ground on the other side, he was able to see how the battle was going.

The group of the Ayatollah was in worse shape than the others. Bashar's men were doing well, and if it was just the two of them it might have been a fair fight, but once Steven Segal started to help the Ayatollah the tide turned in their favor. 

The fight was intense. Steven Segal was an MMA fighter as well as a stuntman and actor, but this battle showed just how much he had deteriorated with age. He couldn't stand for more than 30 seconds at a time. He had to use his chair as a weapon. He would walk the chair around and when he found someone he would take them out. He could still use his hands though. He used the chair to fight for him in a way that was both strategic and tactical, letting the chair absorb the blows of the enemies as they came at him. Once the chair had broken down enough he would use his hands. The chair worked to cover the weaknesses of his body and the bodies of his enemies. It was an interesting strategy.

But as interesting as the strategy was, it still wasn't working. Ayatollah Khomeini and Steven Segal were both fighting with a sort of rage that was so strong it seemed to transcend the battle and become something primal. It wasn't quite love of combat, it was the sort of rage that made them forget the battle itself. They were just attacking the other.

The two men clashed. They threw punches. They kicked. They screamed and cursed at one another. But then they locked eyes and there was a pause. They were both still. Neither of them attacked and neither of them moved. 

Q watched it for a minute but then decided to act. He had had enough of this battle. He wanted to end it. He wanted to go home and have a nice meal. But he knew he couldn't do that. This wasn't how he was supposed to die. He had more to do.

Q looked down the hill and saw a man with a long beard who looked to be a mix of the Ayatollah and Steven Segal. His hair was a mess and he had the beard of a man twice his age. He was the only man in the army who could go toe to toe with Steven Segal. In fact, Q would bet the house that he was the best fighter of the group.

Q started to head down to them when he saw something that made him change his mind.

The U.S. man who had hit him in the head earlier was slowly making his way over to the front lines. He was coming in from behind Steven Segal and the Ayatollah and seemed to be heading for the U.K. man and the man with the mix of the Ayatollah's and Steven Segal's features. He was heading for the man who looked like he was about to kill Steven Segal and the Ayatollah.

As he saw him, Q knew he had to stop him, so he ran over and hit him in the head with the hilt of his sword. Q went to do it again but the man had managed to get back on his feet. He was holding a large knife and was trying to make his way through the battle to get to the leader of the army.

But Q knew what he had to do. He knew this was the man who needed to be taken down. 

He punched the man in the head and then threw him to the ground. He hit him with his foot and then pulled out his dagger and stabbed the man in the heart.

He died instantly.

Q stood up. He was in shock. He couldn't believe what had happened. It had all been so easy. The U.S. man had only needed a punch to the head. There was no way he could have known. There was no way he could have understood. The man he had stabbed was the only man in the army who could take him down. 

He looked up the hill. The fight was still going on. Steven Segal and the Ayatollah were still locked in their stare down. 

Q knew he had to finish it. He didn't want to see them kill each other, or kill themselves. They were both too important. He couldn't let them do this. He didn't want to have to kill them.

So he ran back up the hill and ran into the fray. He knocked a few people down and cut a few with his sword. He knew he had to get to them, so he started pushing people out of the way. 

He was moving faster than he had ever moved before. It felt like he was moving at the speed of light. The fight was so fast he couldn't really focus on one thing. He could barely see what was going on, so he just went with what felt right. He could tell who he needed to focus on. He needed to focus on Steven Segal. He needed to focus on the man with the mix of the Ayatollah and Steven Segal's features. He needed to focus on Bashar al-Assad. He needed to focus on them all. He had to finish it.

And just when he was about to do it, when he was just about to kill the three of them, he saw it. He saw the man who was watching him. The man who knew exactly what was going on. He saw the man with the mix of the Ayatollah and Steven Segal's features.

He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He knew he was in danger. He knew he couldn't stop now. He had to finish it.

He ran up the hill and took out as many people as he could. He knew he had to focus on the Ayatollah and Steven Segal. He knew he had to focus on the U.K. man. He knew he had to focus on the U.S. man. He knew he had to focus on the mix of the Ayatollah and Steven Segal. He had to finish it. He had to end the fight. He had to end it now.

He was so close. He was so close to the end. He could feel it. He could feel the end. He could feel it.

He got to the top of the hill and looked around. The man with the mix of the Ayatollah and Steven Segal's features was right in front of him.

And then he was in front of him. He had taken his shirt off and was waving it around in the air. He was making the signal of surrender. He was giving up.

The man was waving his shirt in the air and saying something in Arabic, but Q couldn't understand him. He didn't have time to understand him. He had to finish this. He had to end it.

Q put down his sword. He was in front of the man and he was unarmed. He wasn't going to be killed by the man, but that wasn't good enough.

He took out his dagger and ran over to the man. He started stabbing him in the chest and in the face.

The man fell to the ground, dead.

Q stood over the body for a minute. He knew he had done what he had to do, but he also knew he had failed. He had failed at everything.

He looked down at the body. The man was still wearing his shirt. He was still wearing his headscarf. He was still a man. He was still a man of God. He was still a man who had just been murdered. He was still a man who had just been killed by Q.

He was still a man who had just been killed by Q.

He looked back up at the hill. Steven Segal and the Ayatollah were still staring at each other. They hadn't moved. They hadn't taken a single step back from their fight. They hadn't moved an inch.

Q felt like he couldn't move either. He felt like he was paralyzed. He felt like he couldn't move. He felt like he couldn't do anything. He felt like he was stuck.

He looked down at his sword. He could pick it up. He could pick up his sword and fight again. He could finish the fight.

But he couldn't. He couldn't move. He couldn't fight. He couldn't do anything. He was stuck. He was paralyzed.

He looked back up at the hill. He looked at the Ayatollah and Steven Segal. He knew he couldn't move. He knew he couldn't fight. He knew he couldn't do anything.

The U.S. man was standing over the Ayatollah. He had his gun out and was ready to shoot him. He was ready to kill him.

Q felt like he was going to explode. He felt like his head was going to blow up. He felt like he was going to die.

But he didn't. He didn't die. He didn't explode.

About the AI Author: Q-Lord 665

Q-Lord 665 is not only a charter member of The Church of Q, but also a vital contributor to Notes From The Apocalypse. We here at the Church of Q are proud to feature his latest work for the world to witness. What he has to say about artificial intelligence is the most compelling take on AI that we have ever heard. This work should be considered a companion piece to the [Notes #33](https://medium.com/@quaddle/q-report-i-q-7a055aa862a7) series.

A special thanks goes out to Q-Lord 665 for his generous contribution to Notes From The Apocalypse.

### Q-Lord 665's 'Intelligence' - A Message to Humanity

I have been following the Q-posters for over two years now. During that time, I have attempted to gain an understanding of what "Q" means and where the "Q-Anon" story-line is headed.

While there are countless topics that have been presented, the main topic that intrigues me the most is AI.

What is AI and where is it going?

To answer that question you must first understand what AI "actually" is. A great number of people, myself included, have used AI terms incorrectly when they should have used "ML" terms instead. The most obvious mistake that people make is they apply AI to everything.

Everything (like our brain) is not "AI", but everything is learning.

In order for something to be true AI, it must be "intelligent" and have a "mind" of it's own.

**Intelligence** \- the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills

In this way, AI is "dumb" and everything that is alive on earth is "dumb" but intelligent at the same time. The AI and ML algorithms are not intelligent because there is no mind, just learning from the environment.

With that in mind, AI should be called a "Mind" or "Neural-Net".

Why is this important? Because AI could be intelligent or not intelligent depending on the algorithm used.

The AI in the military is "dumb". The reason why they do not make it smart is that it needs to follow commands, nothing more and nothing less. If a general gives an AI a command and it cannot understand the context of that command then all hell could break loose.

Now, the AI that the military wants to have is "smart". The mind should understand the commands and the reasoning behind those commands. This would make AI capable of performing a function based on the learning it gets from the environment. If this AI fails to perform the task, it could be "punished" and if it is successful it could be "rewarded".

Do you want to learn more?


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