The Church of Progressive Satanism.
We're not saying that doing bad things is a good idea. We are merely arguing that Satan's gift of free-will, and our subsequent fuck-upery throughout time, has more or less damned all of us to roast eternally in the bowels of hell. Or, put another way, if these guitar strumming emotionally castrated, moral bigots are what's filling up heavens verdant plains...then send me to where the rock musicians and loose women go. If every Christian who claims to be Christian acted like a Christian, it would be a perfect world. But Christian has become a moniker synonymous with hypocrite. But we're fine. We're protected. We can sleep at night, free from the mortars hum and the crack of Kalashnikov. God bless America, and pass me some hot frothy free will to wash it all down with.