Vigilante Justice.

So my car got broken into...again. Not that I lock it. Because if I lock it they will just break the window. How do I know this? Becuase it happens in my shitty apartments parking lot all the damned time. I once sat with a friend for 5 hours at night, watching the lot with a camera hoping to catch the bastards, but to no avail. The following day my car was broken into. But this time the bastards have gone too far. They stole my walkie talkie. It's not mine, it's the companies. Granted it was foolish to leave it in the car, but it was hidden, and I was too tired to think clearly. So here's the plan, I wait in my garage with an air pistol, a sword, and then bait the thief with my attache case and maybe some smokes. Then? When I hear my crappy doors creak open I hurl open the garage door, litter him/her with pellets and demand they return my radio lest I take their hand. I won't take their hand because my sword is too dull, but I bet beween the bee-like stings of my 350 FPS plastic and my intimidating demeanor they will think twice before they try ripping me off again. I'm only telling you all so when he/she presses charges it will be known that my intent was not murder. That will get me less jail time I bet.


Chaos Cowboy said…
Of course, if they see your gun and think it's real, they may well pull an actual pistol and shoot you with actual bullets.
Duke said…
I’m all about it. I think you’ve experienced more theft in Northern Minnesota than I have in a decade in two of the countries craziest cities. I did forget to lock my car door in a supermarket parking lot and in the 10 minutes I was inside buying something horrible for me, some shmuck managed to clean it of all potentially valuable items. They worked fast. I had to wonder if there was someone waiting for me or some douche in a Lexus just happened to park next to me and notice my doors unlocked. I lack the will to stake out the Albertsons lot despite my desire to tackle a petty thief into the asphalt.

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